What a Special Education Teacher Taught Me About Presuming Competence | Zack Ponder

Castos DescriptionEpisode SummaryWhat happens when a special education teacher spends years working with profoundly disabled students—and then realizes the biggest lesson wasn't about teaching at all? In this episode of Inchstones, Sarah Kernion sits down with former special education teacher and Unspecial Podcast host Zack Ponder to explore caregiver stories, autism advocacy, neurodivergent parenting, and why presuming competence changes everything.Full Episode DescriptionBefore launching the Unspecial Podcast, Zack Ponder spent years teaching students with profound autism, complex communication needs, and significant disabilities. Those experiences fundamentally changed the way he understands intelligence, behavior, caregiving, and human connection.In this thoughtful conversation, Sarah and Zack discuss what it means to presume competence, why outward behavior rarely tells the full story, and how educators, parents, and clinicians can better support children by seeing their strengths before their limitations. Zack shares stories from the classroom that forever shaped his understanding of autism communication, emotional regulation, and the incredible capabilities that often remain hidden beneath motor planning challenges. zack-sarah.txtTXTThe conversation also explores fatherhood, caregiver resilience, nervous system regulation, homeschooling, balancing family life during a spouse's cancer journey, and why caring for yourself is essential if you hope to co-regulate with the children who depend on you.Together, Sarah and Zack examine why parents should trust what they observe, why difficult conversations strengthen advocacy, and how small moments of connection often become the most meaningful inchstones.In this episode, we discuss:autism advocacy through presuming competencecaregiver stories from both the classroom and homeneurodivergent parenting and emotional regulationprofound autism care and communicationautism education strategiescaregiver mental health and nervous system regulationfatherhood and disability caregivingspecial education advocacywhy connection matters more than compliancefinding hope through everyday inchstonesWhether you're raising an autistic child, working in special education, supporting neurodivergent families, or simply trying to become a calmer parent, this episode offers a hopeful reminder that every child deserves to be seen beyond what the world immediately notices.In This Episode02:30 — Why Zack left special education but never left the mission05:00 — What profound autism taught him about seeing the unseen08:00 — Caregiver burnout and protecting your nervous system11:00 — Co-regulation begins with the parent14:00 — Presuming competence in non-speaking children17:00 — The classroom story that changed everything20:00 — Fathers, strength, and disability parenting24:00 — Why advocacy should create collaboration—not conflict27:00 — Finding hope in the smallest everyday momentsResourcesLearn more about Zack Ponder and listen to the Unspecial Podcast, where he shares conversations with parents, educators, and disability advocates. Subscribe to the Inchstones Podcast for more conversations about autism advocacy, caregiver stories, and neurodivergent parenting that help families feel seen, supported, and understood. Read more essays on the Inchstones Substack. Chapters (00:00:00) - What They Don't Tell You About Special Needs Parents(00:03:48) - The Empty Seat(00:05:02) - How I Learned to Love My Wife's Autism Diagnosis(00:12:33) - Zach on his autism(00:17:34) - What Do Fathers Have to Offer to Their Autism Child?(00:23:01) - What are some things that are still missing from the Unspecial Podcast(00:27:08) - One Small Stone