What Changes When You Stop Hiding

In this episode of Let's Talk About, I sit down with Tom Emery, founder of HEX Talent and Development, to explore authenticity, trust, emotional self-awareness, and the conversations many of us avoid.Tom shares his personal journey of growing up queer, hiding parts of himself from the world, and the impact that authenticity has on our confidence, relationships, and leadership. Together, we discuss how understanding our genetics, adaptations, behaviours, and stress responses can help us navigate conflict more effectively and communicate with greater empathy.We also explore why psychological safety matters, how trust becomes the foundation of high-performing teams, and why moving away from "right versus wrong" thinking can transform both personal and professional relationships.During the conversation, Tom introduces his practical OI3C feedback framework:• Observation• Impact• Curious• Change• ContinueA simple but powerful approach that makes feedback, boundaries, and difficult conversations feel safer and more productive.In this episode we discuss:• Growing up queer, hiding in the shadows, and the cost of not being yourself• Understanding genetics, adaptations, behaviours, and the stress responses that drive silence and avoidance• Finding joy, confidence, and fulfilment in senior leadership by taking ego less seriously• Moving away from right and wrong thinking to protect relationships and psychological safety• Building trust as the bedrock of effective teams and honest disagreement• Using the OI3C framework to give feedback without judgement• Having smaller conversations earlier to avoid the big "we need to talk" moment• Setting boundaries with time contracts and ending conversations when staying longer cannot help• Recognising triggers and pausing before replying, particularly in written communication• Tom's book People People, the CHRO Impact Framework, and free resources available through HEXConnect with Tom:LinkedIn: Tom Emery | LinkedInHEX LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/hex-development/Website: People Performance Consultancy | HEX Talent and DevelopmentInstagram: @tomemeryhexFree copy of People People:Request a copy of People People by Tom EmeryIf today's conversation has raised anything for you, please reach out to somebody you trust and talk about it.Please like, share, and subscribe to help us reach more people with these important conversations.#CourageousConversations #NickyPerfect #Communication #Leadership #PsychologicalSafety #DifficultConversations #Trust #Feedback #AuthenticLeadership #PeoplePeople #TomEmery #HEXDevelopment #EmotionalIntelligence #WorkplaceCulture #LeadershipDevelopmentResources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7) Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk