What do we do with our regrets?

Regrets… I have some experience in this area because: a) I am a highly sensitive person, and b) I am always looking backwards. Always. I am a person who lives in the past tense. It is not something I am proud of. I have this annoying habit of ending the day by lying in bed thinking about all of the things that I said to people that day and wondering what the heck I was thinking.But I also look back farther. I wonder about people I used to love and the choices I made, and I more or less languish in the past. Some people call this melancholic. Or nostalgic. Most of the terms associated with this kind of regret-filled thinking are negative. But then there’s Daniel Pink. He gives us a new way to think about “regret” that reframes our regrets as information that can actually help us…If I regret something, what can that help me know about myself? Or what I value? Or what will constitute a good life?I am fascinated by this, because I agree with him that feelings are information. Sometimes we feel things before we “know” them with any conscious certainty. Humans are so complicated. Dan Pink talked to 21,000 people around the world and found that there are basically four different kinds of regrets, which is helpful to me in making sense of what I’ve felt when I say “I regret” something. Plus, he has some notes for us about kindness (the type that we can send inward, to ourselves).What an honor to talk to one of the authors I most admire writing today. Thank you, Dan!Share this post with someone you know who may be navigating feelings of regret. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit peopleiveloved.substack.com/subscribe