What Happens When Consequences Backfire episode artwork

EPISODE · Jul 15, 2025 · 20 MIN

What Happens When Consequences Backfire

from Returning to Us · host Lauren Spigelmyer

If you've been questioning why traditional consequences often fail to create meaningful behavior change, this is for you. Lauren walks through the whys of this failure and how traditional consequences may harm relationships and regulation. She unpacks common disciplinary practices and explains how these strategies can backfire when they’re disconnected from emotional support and repair. Instead of punishing behaviors, Lauren encourages us to understand the nervous system and the unmet needs driving those behaviors. Sign up for the University of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited CourseOther related resources from Five Ives: Blog Post: Why Traditional Employee Wellness Programs Fail (And What Works Instead)Survive Mode: Recognizing When Your Organization is in CrisisWhat are the Five Ives?Podcast:Helping Children Catch your Calm with Nervous System RegulationChaos to ConnectionPart 2: Behavior isn't the ProblemPart 1: Behavior isn't the ProblemHive- The Last Stage of the Five IvesThrive- The Fourth Stage of the Five IvesStrive- The Third Stage of the Five IvesRevive- The Second Stage of the Five IvesSurvive- The First Stage of the Five IvesWhat are the Five Ives?Our Online Programs: Behavior BreakthroughPolicing Under PressureBoard Governance TrainingUniversity of Pennsylvania Behavior Breakthrough Accredited CourseSubscribe to our mailing list and find out more about Stress, Trauma, Behavior and the Brain!Check out our Facebook Group – Five Ives!Five Ives Website websiteThe Behavior Hub blogIf you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey. Schedule a free discovery call and let us be your guideAs an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. 

If you've been questioning why traditional consequences often fail to create meaningful behavior change, this is for you. Lauren walks through the whys of this failure and how traditional consequences may harm relationships and regulation. She unpacks common disciplinary practices and explains how these strategies can backfire when they’re disconnected from emotional support and repair. Instead of punishing behaviors, Lauren encourages us to understand the nervous system and the unmet needs d...

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What Happens When Consequences Backfire

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How long is this episode of Returning to Us?

This episode is 20 minutes long.

When was this Returning to Us episode published?

This episode was published on July 15, 2025.

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If you've been questioning why traditional consequences often fail to create meaningful behavior change, this is for you. Lauren walks through the whys of this failure and how traditional consequences may harm relationships and regulation. She...

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