What Happens When You Don’t Have to Mask So Hard?

This week, David and Isabelle continue their conversation with Avari Brocker — Neurodiversity Alliance student advocate and founder of LearningCurb.org. Avari talks about what it felt like to go from being on her own little island to being surrounded by other neurodivergent people, and realizing (maybe for the first time) that it was actually safe to be fully herself. The group also gets into the difference between being around people who tolerate you vs. being around people who just get it. If you’ve ever felt exhausted from constantly managing yourself around other people or if you’ve ever needed a reminder that belonging is not extra, it’s foundational… this one’s for you!Here's what's coming your way:Why being around like-minded neurodivergent people can feel like coming homeA clear breakdown of what high masking feels like from the insideWhy shared experience can make it easier to stop overexplaining and start relaxingHow community can help you stand up for yourself in ways you might not otherwiseThe story behind Learning Curb and why its whole mission is rooted in accessA reminder that the things you needed most can become the very things you build for someone else -------Wait, What's That? Here are some of the terms and people mentioned in this episode explained:Neurodiversity Alliance: An organization that supports neurodivergent young people through leadership, mentorship, and advocacy. In this conversation, it’s also the community space where David and Isabelle first connected with Avari. Learn more at TheNDAlliance.org. Dyslexia: A learning disability that affects reading, spelling, and language processing. In this conversation, Avari talks about how meaningful it was when other dyslexic people heard her speak not just about the hard parts, but the good parts too. Dysgraphia: A learning disability that affects writing. Here, it’s part of the group of neurodivergent experiences Avari has already been advocating around and building resources for. The “curb cut” effect: The idea behind Learning Curb’s name. Curb cuts were added to sidewalks after the Americans with Disabilities Act to support wheelchair users, but they ended up helping lots of other people too — parents with strollers, skateboarders, cyclists, and delivery workers. Avari uses that as a model for education: when you lower the barrier to access for the most vulnerable people, everybody benefits. High masking: Constantly adjusting your behavior, communication, or presentation so you seem more acceptable, understandable, or “normal” to other people. Avari describes doing this in neurotypical spaces and contrasts it with the relief of not needing to do it so much in neurodivergent community. Neurospicy: A playful community term some neurodivergent people use for themselves. Isabelle uses it here while talking about the way neurospicy conversations can go from breadcrumb-level sharing to a full French dip hoagie in about two seconds. Narrative Reasoning: Avari’s phrase for the way her brain explains things through story, analogy, and comparison that other people can understand. Neurotypical: People whose brains work in ways that are more socially expected or normalized. In this conversation, Avari contrasts neurotypical spaces with neurodivergent ones, especially in terms of masking, safety, and how much self-management is required. Love bombing: A phrase Avari uses jokingly while talking about how quickly people bonded at the Neurodiversity Alliance. In context, she’s naming the relief of being able to connect intensely without immediately worrying that it’s “too much.” “English is just three languages in a trench coat”: Avari’s explanation for why English spelling is chaos, and Isabelle immediately clocks it as the best saying ever!Night Witches: The nickname given by German soldiers during World War II to the Soviet Union’s all-female 588th Night Bomber Regiment, known for flying dangerous nighttime bombing missions against Nazi forces. Isabelle brings them up as an example of the kind of fully formed special-interest tangent that can come pouring out once someone takes the bait in a neurodivergent conversation. -------💬 Have you ever found a space where you realized you didn’t have to mask so hard? Drop your story in the comments on Spotify.🎧  Follow Something Shiny: ADHD for more conversations that help you understand your ADHD and remind you—you were never too much.