What If Being a Better Dad Starts With Knowing Yourself?

Matthew Jandernoa believes many men know what the right thing is… but don’t really know their own hearts. In this conversation, we explore what happens when fatherhood exposes the parts of ourselves we’d rather avoid. We talk about frustration, patience, humility, comparison, healing, and why becoming a better dad starts long before becoming a dad at all. Matthew shares a powerful story from his time as a missionary that changed how he viewed himself forever, explains why “offer it up” never quite landed for him, and challenges us to stop focusing on our failures and start focusing on who we’re becoming. Along the way we discuss: 🔹 Why many fathers get trapped in self-criticism 🔹 The connection between patience and hope 🔹 How parents unintentionally teach learned helplessness 🔹 Why your children need space to struggle 🔹 The difference between trusting your heart and following every desire 🔹 How humility can actually increase life satisfaction 🔹 What it means to become the man your family needs This is a conversation about fatherhood, but it’s also a conversation about being human. Guest Matthew Jandernoa Founder of Steadfast Life, husband, father of two with a third on the way. Key Takeaways ⚡ You are not your failures. Focusing on your shortcomings creates a feedback loop that makes growth harder. ⚡ Patience is more than waiting. It’s an unwillingness to be overcome by suffering and the ability to see potential where it isn’t fully realized yet. ⚡ Children need opportunities to struggle. Constantly rescuing them teaches learned helplessness instead of resilience. ⚡ The heart contains both good desires and disordered desires. The goal isn’t suppressing the heart but helping direct it toward what is truly good. ⚡ Holiness and fatherhood aren’t destinations. They’re continual acts of returning to who you’re called to become. ⚡ Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself. It’s becoming genuinely happy when good things happen, whether or not they happen to you. Memorable Quotes “The Christian life is perpetual conversion back to God.” “Patience is an unwillingness to be overcome by sorrow.” “A good father would also be a good single person.” “The whole point of parenting is helping our kids aim what comes from the heart, not suppress it.” “Every time your wife or kids make you angry, it’s an opportunity to help them remember who they truly are.” Website: https://www.steadfastlife.net/