What If the Problem in Your Relationships is You? (And That's Actually Good News) with Alfina Lofaro

Most of us spend years trying to figure out why our relationships keep feeling the same — same frustrations, same patterns, same quiet dissatisfaction. What if the answer isn't out there, but in the mirror? Alfina Lofaro has spent more than two decades in the deeply human space of how we relate to others, and perhaps more importantly, to ourselves. As a kinesiologist, transformational coach and debut author, she brings a rare combination of body-based wisdom and hard-won personal insight to a conversation that so many women in midlife are quietly having with themselves. This episode covers a lot of ground, but the thread running through all of it is this: we are rarely taught how to do relationships well. We pick it up from our environment, from experiments that sometimes backfire, and from crisis and then we wonder why we keep arriving at the same place. Alfina's work, and her book Love Deliberately, is her answer to that gap. What makes this conversation feel different is that Alfina isn't speaking from a polished distance. She shares from inside the work, family dynamics, the red carpet moment that nearly undid her, and the five days in New Zealand that taught her something she didn't know she needed to learn. It's honest, warm and quietly profound. If you're ready to improve your relationships, this episode is a must.In this episode we explore:Giving and receiving in relationshipsThe unconscious patterns we carry from childhood and how they shape our relationshipsWhy wanting everyone else to change is usually where the real work beginsWhat the body knows about your next goalThe quiet renegotiation so many women in midlife are navigatingHow small moments in conversation can reveal who we've becomeWhat does love actually mean to you?How curiosity can improve all relationships09:03 – "Maybe it's not everyone else who needs to change" - where the real work begins10:23 – What it actually looks like to explore who you are in relationship13:46 – When the body knows your goal before you do19:23 – The universe doesn't give you what you want, it reflects back who you are and why this changes everything27:47 – Coming in looking for better relationships, leaving knowing yourself better35:38 – What one client's definition of love revealed and the shift that followed38:25 – Why Alfina wrote a book that isn't just about romantic relationships45:13 – The one practice from the book you can start today52:29 – A red carpet, a bad photo and a pep talk she had to give herselfAlfina Lofaro is a Queensland-based kinesiologist, transformational coach and author whose work sits at the intersection of body intelligence and relational wisdom. With over 25 years of experience, she helps people untangle the unconscious patterns that shape the way they love, communicate and connect. Her debut book, Love Deliberately: How to Be Less Sh*t at Relationships, recently received an award at the International Impact Book Awards in the United States. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alfinalofaro Website: https://www.alfinalofaro.com/ Buy the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com.au/Love-Deliberately-How-Less-Relationships-ebook/dp/B0FJ4Q5WQS