What is a clean question? And why does this matter?

Can you say more about when there is a trojan horse request where the outside superficial ask is hiding a deeper, what most of us would call an unconscious, ask? For example if I were to post repeatedly in a facebook page seemingly to be helpful and really a deeper desire is to be seen or approved of. Why would we listen to, or ask for, the unconscious ask when emotions and thoughts are so transitory? Why take that unconscious ask seriously? Aren't both coming from an insecure self?