What is Gaslighting and the DARVO Pattern? episode artwork

EPISODE · Sep 16, 2025 · 54 MIN

What is Gaslighting and the DARVO Pattern?

from Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing · host Choose Recovery Services - Alana Gordon and Amie Woolsey

Join us this week for a replay of one of our most popular episodes! When your partner turns your therapy progress into ammunition against you and conversations become twisted battles where you end up apologizing for things you never did wrong, you might be experiencing a calculated pattern of emotional abuse. This eye-opening episode breaks down the DARVO technique (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) and reveals how gaslighting operates within relationships affected by addiction. Amie and Alanna provide concrete tools to help you distinguish between your reality and the false narrative being imposed on you, while offering hope for reclaiming your power and truth.What You'll Learn:How to recognize DARVO patterns and gaslighting tacticsThe difference between addiction-based vs. deep-rooted abusive behaviorsPractical tools for disengaging and reclaiming your realityReferenced in this episode: Am I in an Abusive Relationship? - Self-paced courseThe Elements of Abuse podcast series with Kim Day and Amie - Part 1: The Power of Awareness, Part 2: The Power of Accepting Reality, Part 3: The Power to ActSecure Your Spot!Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.⁠Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Luke Gordon hosts a podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Healing Hearts - For couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. Learn how to know if you are ready to date again and what a healthy relationship looks like. Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. Trauma Trigger Kit - Triggers can come out of nowhere. Keep a Trauma Trigger Kit on hand to help you use your five senses to stay grounded and connected to yourself.

Join us this week for a replay of one of our most popular episodes! When your partner turns your therapy progress into ammunition against you and conversations become twisted battles where you end up apologizing for things you never did wrong, you might be experiencing a calculated pattern of emotional abuse. This eye-opening episode breaks down the DARVO technique (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) and reveals how gaslighting operates within relationships affected by addiction. Amie and Alanna provide concrete tools to help you distinguish between your reality and the false narrative being imposed on you, while offering hope for reclaiming your power and truth.What You'll Learn:How to recognize DARVO patterns and gaslighting tacticsThe difference between addiction-based vs. deep-rooted abusive behaviorsPractical tools for disengaging and reclaiming your realityReferenced in this episode: Am I in an Abusive Relationship? - Self-paced courseThe Elements of Abuse podcast series with Kim Day and Amie - Part 1: The Power of Awareness, Part 2: The Power of Accepting Reality, Part 3: The Power to ActSecure Your Spot!Courage to Thrive - This intensive brings together expert trauma specialists in the serene Utah mountains for a transformative experience that goes beyond healing—it's about getting your power back. Join other courageous women October 14-17, 2025, and leave with proven strategies, unshakeable boundaries, and renewed hope…because your story doesn't end with betrayal—it transforms into something powerful.We don’t want finances to get in the way of your healing. Scholarships and payment plans are available for all of our intensives. Learn more and see if you qualify.⁠Watch us⁠ on YouTube.Follow us on Instagram: @choose_recovery_services⁠Schedule⁠ a complimentary consultation.Join our email list to be notified when new episodes air.More from Choose Recovery ServicesBeyond the Facade Podcast - Luke Gordon hosts a podcast geared toward helping men live authentically and in harmony with their values.Choose Healing - Weekly support group for women who have recently experienced betrayal and are needing help coping with the symptoms of trauma.  Intensives - Accelerate your healing journey with one of our intensives. Foster connection with others who share similar experiences, creating an immersive environment that enables profound transformation in a short period of time.Healing Hearts - For couples seeking healing after betrayal. It emphasizes the development of empathy, integrity, and authentic intimacy. Help. Her. Heal - This program is for men seeking to learn more about empathy, conflict resolution, and healthy communication. Beyond the Facade: Men’s Healing Group - We help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with others, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deeper sense of self respect.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Empowered Divorce Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ with Amie Woolsey for those who are leaning toward divorce.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dating From Within - Amie Woolsey hosts this workshop which teaches you how to date yourself first. Learn how to know if you are ready to date again and what a healthy relationship looks like. Should I Stay or Go? - Self-paced course designed to be a companion on your journey toward self-discovery and personal empowerment. Trauma Trigger Kit - Triggers can come out of nowhere. Keep a Trauma Trigger Kit on hand to help you use your five senses to stay grounded and connected to yourself.

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What is Gaslighting and the DARVO Pattern?

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This episode is 54 minutes long.

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This episode was published on September 16, 2025.

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Join us this week for a replay of one of our most popular episodes! When your partner turns your therapy progress into ammunition against you and conversations become twisted battles where you end up apologizing for things you never did wrong, you...

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