What is love for another person? Listener question

Reading your book ‘it’s not you and it's not me'. Please help me clarify exactly what you are saying and navigate my situation. I am in love with a woman let’s call her Ann. I think about her all the time. I get jealous when she talks about other men. I get upset if she doesn’t want to see me. This feels like love to me. There have been other women in my life who I haven’t felt that with . Are you saying the relationship with Ann is a play out of trauma and it is not with the other women? How can that be and what does it mean to be in love then if it is not to want to be with the other person all the time. .