What Is Triangulation? Why Two People Pull in a Third When Anxiety Rises

Triangulation occurs when anxiety in a two-person relationship is redistributed through a third person or point in the system. In this concise Therapy Fundamentals episode, Stephanie Buckley explains triangles through Bowen Family Systems Theory and shows how they appear in couples, parenting, sibling relationships, friendships, workplaces, ADHD emotional reactivity, and OCD reassurance cycles. She also distinguishes healthy support from alliance-building and offers one practical way to return responsibility to the appropriate relationship. Try the free three-question pause Before involving a third person, ask: What am I feeling anxious about? What am I hoping this person will do for me? What is one respectful sentence I can say directly to the person involved? Download the companion toolkit The Triangulation Pattern Toolkit is a printable resource for mapping triangles, recognizing shifting positions, clarifying boundaries, and preparing direct I-position language. Purchase and download it here: Triangualtion Toolkit  https://www.thepathtopeacetherapy.com/product-page/triangualtion-toolkit About Stephanie Stephanie Buckley, AAMFT, is an ADHD and OCD Specialist, Solution-Focused Therapist, and Family Systems Coach. She is the host of The Path to Peace Therapy Podcast and the creator of Reality Case Studies™. Her work integrates Solution-Focused Therapy, Bowen Family Systems Theory, psychoeducation, structured tools, and practical strategies for couples, parents, teenagers, and young adults. Educational disclaimer This podcast and its companion materials are for psychoeducational purposes only. They are not psychotherapy, medical advice, diagnosis, crisis care, or a substitute for individualized treatment. Direct communication may be unsafe in relationships involving violence, coercive control, retaliation, stalking, or severe power imbalance. Seek qualified support and prioritize safety when those conditions are present.