What? Music? 3

This song is on a relatively long list of songs I mean to learn how to play.I played a week ago friday and I started and stopped a song I wrote and breifly explained that I had just learned it.The audience laughed. I bet half of those people had seen me play that song before.“Its a 25 year old song!”I excused. It was a 30 year old song I hadn't played in probably 20 years before the week preceding the show.What I am trying to say is that it is not unusual for me not to know a song I wrote. I let it all go for a while. I didn’t play any songs for most of ten years.Now, during the period of time I wrote the one that this piece is about I was spending my evenings writing stuff that was beyond my ability to play and then taking Adderall and practicing/learning the songs as I wrote them, til I could pull them off well enough to record them and then recording them right away, as soon as I could play em. Then forgetting them and starting something new- 2010ish for a few years.There are piles of these. But this one is honest. It feels comparatively classy in it's recorded company.I meant to tell you I don't get lonelyWhile you were here, but it’s too lateFor me to tell you I think of you onlyAnd you'll never have to waitUntil we both recall I said I'll never miss you at all, and you know you never hesitateAnd if you r-u-n-o-f-t with my heartI'll recover right here where I lay I meant to tell you, I don't get lonelyBut now I've got nuthin’ to say.Every year or so, I'll sit down with this recording and get a couple moves in to figuring it out and then be distracted by dinner plans or a small shiny object.At the time I wrote it I was trying… I was a successfully, actively single person. I got laid. But I think really, I wanted to be in a committed thing.This got said to me by someone in a moment when I could receive it four or five years ago, “I fall in love with everyone I have sex with.” It was cautionary. I had heard things like that my whole life and poo pooed ‘em.It's true for me too.And in a way this song is me saying that I felt that way while still seeming cool with all the casual f*****g, that was in fact love making, that was going on in my life at the time.If the way this tune got made seems like it could develop into a cool album you can buy the one of them there is right…Here:….-you click on it….the box below… not the photo above…. although that is the cover photo…you're doing great. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit samknu.substack.com