What People Get Wrong About Supporting Someone Who’s Dying

When someone you care about is suffering, grieving, or facing the end of life, finding the “right” words can feel impossible. In this episode of Say This, Not That, palliative care nurse practitioner Regan Marooney shares what she has learned from years spent sitting beside patients and families during life’s hardest moments—and why sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply be present.Regan works in palliative care at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, helping patients manage pain, navigate complex medical decisions, and face the emotional realities of serious illness. In this conversation, she explains the often-misunderstood difference between hospice and palliative care, what “quality of life” really means in medicine, and the communication framework clinicians use when responding to grief, fear, and anger.Along the way, Regan shares deeply personal stories from the hospital—moments of heartbreak, humanity, humor, and profound love. She also reveals common phrases people say that unintentionally make things worse, including one simple word she wishes we could eliminate entirely. If you've ever struggled with what to say when someone is hurting, this conversation offers compassionate, practical guidance on how to show up when it matters most.