What Was My Godfather's Love For Me? Anonymous Psilocybin...

What this episode covers

After his relationship with Emily ended, John moved to a new city & dove headfirst into Ayahuasca.With the help of Liam, a modern shaman, John faced ego death, repressed anger, & a troubling question:What was the nature of his godfather’s love for him growing up?Chapters(00:00) Intro clip(02:54) What happened after your relationship with Emily ended?(07:15) How did you come into your power?(08:57) Can you take us through your ayahuasca experiences in as much detail as you can?(14:20) Your relationship with ayahuasca sounds similar to your relationship with the powerful women in your life. Are there parallels there for you?(18:25) John looks for evidence of abuse at the hands of his godfather.(21:32) What it feels like to answer a difficult question on ayahuasca.(23:17) What could happen if you don’t resolve questions,(24:58) How John approaches the fear of difficult questions.(26:33) What do you mean, “It’s never fully over?”(29:13) Facing repressed anger.(39:57) Why John thinks being experienced with psychedelics doesn’t mean wisdom.(42:35) Why John has more anxiety with psychedelics now than when he started.(45:46) How has this fear impacted your use of psychedelics?Secret Wilderness' theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Share this episode

Similar Episodes

Monster Movie Happy Hour, Ep. 169, "Night Fright"

Jun 2, 2026 ·96m

Monster Movie Happy Hour, Ep. 168, The Descent"

May 8, 2026 ·95m

Monster Movie Happy Hour, Ep. 167, "Destroy All Neighbors"

Apr 15, 2026 ·109m

Frater Aleftheria

Apr 6, 2026 ·91m

David Sater : Mythopoetic Alchemy

Apr 5, 2026 ·100m

Monster Movie Happy Hour, Ep. 166, "Forbidden Planet" with Marshall Julius

Mar 25, 2026 ·88m

Similar Podcasts

WTF Conspiracy ? Operation: Disclosure Jolly West Welcome to Conspiracy Theory Or Not?, your deep dive into the world of secrets, shadows, and speculation. This podcast is dedicated to unraveling history's most controversial and mind-bending conspiracy theories, asking tough questions and exploring hidden truths. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, we take you on a journey through some of the most mysterious events and covert operations ever revealed.In this episode, we explore the dark and mysterious world of MK-Ultra—a top-secret CIA program that ran from the 1950s to the early 1970s. The program's purpose? To develop mind control techniques for use in espionage. But as we will uncover, the methods employed often crossed ethical boundaries, involving everything from drugs to hypnosis and, in many cases, torturous experimentation.We’ll investigate the history and controversial practices behind MK-Ultra, shining a light on its disturbing experiments, key figures, and pivotal events. Drawing from two essential books, "The Sea Explicit YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL PODCAST Erin Loman Jeck and Dr. Sizzle You're Not Special" is the hilarious, no-holds-barred podcast that serves up the juiciest stories from both sides of the kitchen door. Join Erin Loman Jeck, the high-flying CEO with a secret addiction to waiting tables, and the enigmatic Doctor Sizzle, a culinary genius by day and concert going by night, as they dish out the drama that's made to order in the restaurant world.Each episode, we'll dive into the chaotic, dysfunctional family vibe of restaurant life, featuring outrageous customer requests, kitchen disasters turned triumphs, and staff interactions spicier than the daily special.Whether you're a seasoned industry pro or just love a good laugh with your meal, "You're Not Special" offers a balanced perspective on the wild world of restaurants. We'll bring you interviews with chefs, long-time servers, restaurant owners, and even the occasional health inspector for a taste of the unexpected.So pull up a chair and join us at the table where the menu is set, but the drama is mad Explicit Be Marvelus (the mental fitness podcast) Marta Kagan If you’ve ever met someone who is genuinely thriving and wondered, What’s their secret? this is the podcast for you. Each week you'll hear from beautiful, resilient humans who sit down with host (& Marvelus coFounder) Marta Kagan to share the most vulnerable moments of their lives and the choices that helped them become their most Marvelus selves. Packed with inspiring stories, profound insights, and actionable tips, the Be Marvelus Podcast will help you get into the best mental and emotional shape of your life. Explicit Socialite Crime Club Burning Mountain Productions A new take on true crime, former investigators and successful entrepreneurs, energetically discuss their involvement in criminal cases across the country and what it takes to solve complex investigations. Join your hosts, Sy and Keri Ray, as they delight your insatiable desires for scandalous schemes, disgraceful deeds, secret soiree’s and criminal conspiracies. Explicit

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of Secret Wilderness?

This episode is 47 minutes long.

When was this Secret Wilderness episode published?

This episode was published on February 13, 2025.

What is this episode about?

After his relationship with Emily ended, John moved to a new city & dove headfirst into Ayahuasca.With the help of Liam, a modern shaman, John faced ego death, repressed anger, & a troubling question:What was the nature of his godfather’s love for...

Can I download this Secret Wilderness episode?

Yes, you can download this episode by clicking the download button on the episode player, or subscribe to the podcast in your preferred podcast app for automatic downloads.