Welcome to the Tweed Trends podcast. Hey, Evette, what's trending today? Hey, I'm Evette, hey, girl. And you are tuned in to Tweed Trends.
It's the quickest way to find out what's trending today. What would you do? Let's get started. Hey, there, welcome back to Tweed Trends.
So the other day, we talked about friends, and whether or not they had your back. Today, I said I was going to talk about strangers. And the bottom line is, what would you do if you saw something happening to somebody? Would you come to their rescue, or would you just kind of act like you didn't see it and walk on by?
Now, this topic comes up because there was a young lady. She's a Somali refugee. She's in Texas somewhere. And what happened to her was a man approached her, according to her story, a man approached her, and asked her for her phone number.
She told him no, and he picked up a brick and hit her in the face. And there were other people around, and they saw this happen. They saw what the man did, and he did it. He got his car, and he left, and nobody helped her.
And so in the aftermath of all of that, she was upset with the people out there, and she proceeded to videotape herself, basically chastising the people around her, saying, how could you let this man hit me in the face, and nobody come to my rescue, come to help me out, come to save me or whatever. And that is the big question. What would you do? So having said all of that, I had to bring my partner in crime here with me for this discussion, because I've got some key questions for him.
So hey, Win. Hey, how you doing today? Hey, Tweety Transfamily. Yeah, I'm good.
So I sent you an article about the young lady. Yes. And what was your first thought about it? It was another went-in-a-world moment.
People lose their minds, type of thing, just the audacity of the event was tough. But for her to have the presence of mind to record herself and to record the events in the immediate aftermath, I thought was good. So the key question, though, is should the people have jumped in and done something? So this thing here, like a gato onion, as Shrek says, has many layers to it.
Once that event happens, that toothpaste is out of the tube. And at that point, it's what do you do with regards to triage? Does she need assistance? Does she have a concussion?
Where's the nearest first aid? All those types of things. People are crazy. And so unfortunately, I think there's a lot of self care, but people are more concerned with themselves than they are with what other people are doing and how others are being treated.
And so I think they saw that. And he got in his car and left, and nobody probably got a license plate or a description of the car. All those things that could help identify this person. I just don't know they would have president to do that.
Hi, would be surprised if nobody took their phone out? You know, everybody nowadays wants to be a social media superstar. And if they can catch something that's going to catch everybody's attention, get lots of views and likes or whatever, then they're on it. Dog on it.
True. Well, and at the time of her video, we don't know that any of that stuff was an action. We don't know that somebody had taken that info and had given it to the cops or whatever. We got her very visceral and rightfully so immediate reaction to what happened to her, just based on what it plays.
So the likelihood that some of the stuff could have happened. I mean, there's a possibility. We just don't know that for sure. That being said, none of that stuff in the aftermath was going to fix that situation.
So it's a tough spot, right? Which is why I said the many layers are, whoever that person is, that he was so intrigued by her to ask her for her number, but is also so internally disturbed that upon getting a no in whatever form she gave it, she could have been a polite no. Oh, I'm sorry. No, thank you.
She could have been a man, if you don't get the type of no, whatever that answer is, it's words, right? And it's her space and her right to say no in managing what she chooses, because we don't know what was going on with her during that day up to that point. So to try to say, oh, if she had a sit at this way, and that way, I don't subscribe to that at all. She said, no, no is no.
Kick rocks, but keep it moving. And so to feel that you wanted to know this lady potentially, but that you would turn and throw a brick and hit her on the side of the head, then side of face is unconscionable. Because if you would do that to somebody that you don't know, is this the seed to what a domestic abuse relationship is? Who knows, right?
Another layer of the onion and rabbit hole that we can go down, but that's the root cause, right? That something was wrong with that person, to where they felt that that was the solution for them in that moment, and then to run, right? Not only did you one hit a girl, but you hit a girl with a brick and a side of head, and then you took off, right? Just overall, many levels of cowardice.
I agree. Do you think that? So you mentioned how the guy reacted upon being rejected by this young lady. And I have to admit, growing up, I was always, it wasn't even just a little scared.
I was terrified of something like that happening to me, because on so many occasions, I had seen situations where a guy is trying to talk to a girl. The girl says, no thanks, however, way she chooses to say it, and guys would lose their minds. It would be the whole, well, you wouldn't that cute anyway? And all of this other stuff, and I was terrified of that happening.
So I'd gotten to a point where if a guy had the nerve to say something to me, I would humor him in conversation. I would hold a conversation, and there were times that maybe I gave a fake name, or I can't say that I ever gave out a fake phone number, because I don't know that I was ever thinking that, that fast on my feet to make up a number, and I don't think I ever did that. Not to say that I didn't actually give my real number and just not answer. I've had people in my phone listed as do not answer.
But that we have a daughter. What is the right way, because I don't know that I know the right way to navigate this, like what do you tell your daughters out there as far as dealing with these people? Because like you said, there's a mental health situation out there, and there are a lot of people that got a little something going on that they could probably use a little bit of help with, but nobody's making people go and get help. So what do you do?
So you touch on some key points that as a guy, I can't wrap my head around your own personal experience because I have not lived experience of what you described. Now, that's not to say that I haven't asked for a number or was intrigued by somebody at some point to then get a no or rejection. And in my head, I might have thought like, why I didn't want to talk to you anyway, like you, but I know that that response is a self-healing, self-soothing, pick yourself up because you got rejected type response, right? The very nature of you asking for a number or asking whatever the question was to engage in conversation says that there was some sort of intrigue there.
So to turn around a lot of yourself about the other pieces, just what it is, is fallacy. I do not subscribe to Aquias and to someone else's whims about them wanting to talk to me simply because of the fear. So that's one thing that, you know, whether it's for this episode or not, you'd have to dive in a little bit deeper in yourself because that fear has to come from somewhere, right? And in some of my studies, you know, fear can be hereditary, right?
I look at Crocodile Dundee's kids, they have their wrestling alligators and stingrays. Even after their father's passed, I say Crocodile Dundee, that was the dude's name. Was it Crocodile Dundee's movie or Steve? Steve, oh gosh.
What was a Crocodile Dundee? No, Crocodile Dundee was the movie. It's Steve, what's his name, the Alligator Hunter or something like that? Man, these are all go shows.
Anyway, that dude, the actual Australian guy, not from the movie, because that's Crocodile Dundee, but not from the movies, Steve, congratulations, whatever his name and title was. But anyway, that gentleman, his kids are not afraid to, they're doing some of the very things that he did and that he even succumbed to. He got hit with Stingray in the chest or something like that and perished, but they're not fearful of that. And so I think in his DNA that he passed on to them, they don't have that fear.
I said all of that and misrepresented the movie and the show and all that stuff to say that for you, somewhere in your lineage in your DNA, there was a fear of something like that, at such an age, you would have a visceral reaction that you would embody that. Like seeing that happen to someone else didn't put you in a spot like, man, that's stuck for them. You internalized that to go like, oh my gosh, that could happen to me. Yeah, because that's what they teach you in church.
It's like what God can do for others, he can do for you and the same thing goes for the bad stuff. Okay, well, we went to different churches growing up. So I ain't getting that. God is no respecter at first.
I'm listening to him. I'm just saying. It's like, so you're saying it's in my DNA. I think it has to be, right?
Like there's no other tangible reason for me to see why you would internalize that type of response. So much to succumb to somebody else's, somebody who don't even know. Like, I don't know you back up. Because I've seen people get distant dismissed horribly.
And when they got distant dismissed, they were in a better place because they did not have to tolerate that person and that boreshed behavior for any amount of time. That person just showed their ass, it was this PG? That's it. It's time for sure you got going on.
I don't know, it depends on what you about to say. These mother cutters, I'm just saying that, if that person shows their tail to that degree, you have shown me all I need to know that, not only do I not want to give you my number, anybody else I know who might talk to you, I'm going to tell them to stay away from you. That's what you just did. You just showed me that you ain't worthy of me, my time, anybody I know.
And it's unfortunate of what happened to her. So I'm not trying to make a lie to that and say, well, she's got this injury that's occurred to her because that's tragic, right? That's unfortunate, but that's criminal. And so I just can't see acquiescence to someone else's whims for potential criminal behavior.
Like that's not how our society should be. That doesn't mean that I'm trying to make some sort of utopia that it's all puppies and kittens and rainbows and stuff like that. But maybe the move is to keep people at a distance from you. Maybe the move is to not being that kind of proximity of people or that you can kind of be aware that that sort of stuff happens.
Or our day and age now, you can just put earbuds in it for tennis if you're on a phone call and you didn't hear them. You can hear them clearly, but you are engaged in a phone call and you really didn't hear them and they'll probably, okay, she must be talking to somebody, she can hear me. And they can play it off to self-soothe themselves or to help their ego. But that's what it's about.
His ego was hurt. He was probably around some people and they say no Michael Jackson video where he just got the, hey! And then everybody's stopping like, ooh, look at him. You know, type of thing, the way you make me feel.
No, I'm not going out the way. Oh my gosh. I'm just saying, but it ain't that type of thing where his feelings got hurt and he reacted for whatever reason, hurt people, hurt people. So whatever he's going through internally, whatever that little exchange caused his little feelings to get hurt, it still didn't justify what he did.
Nor does it justify why you or anybody like you should be in a space to have to give a name, real our fake, to have to give a number, real our fake, to make idle chit chat, real our fake, just to make it okay to get out of that situation. On the flip side, I do agree with getting out of a situation safely, right? And so that's the real part that has to come into play and why I say it's not a utopia of just, hey, you know, tell them what you want and roll with it. Like, yeah, you gotta have some survival instincts and be able to say, okay, it's dimly lit, there's some other people around.
In this ladies' case, there were other people around. It didn't stop the event from happening, but who knows what's to come from that? Who else was able to give a description, help get the sky off the streets? I hope that she can heal.
I hope that she didn't have a traumatic brain injury, concussion or anything like that. And like say that's unfortunate. But I hope that her story can help other women know how to move in that type of space. Now we've been around the world.
Did Alisa Stanstvio move? We talked about Steve Irwin, also known as Crocodile Dunte. That's not his name. You know what I mean?
I know, I know. But so I think the hard part about the whole thing is the fact that no two situations are gonna be the same. And that's the part that bothers me with us having a daughter and trying to, I guess, get her to a place where she's street smart, where she can navigate that type of a situation. Right, but there's another element to it, right?
That you've already shared with me is that you guys being empaths, that there's a feeling that you apparently get of pain. Like for her to hear somebody else cry, right? She can't just continue what she's doing. It's like she has to turn towards that and see what's going on, right?
Like somebody's pain. And so unfortunately for me, I feel like that's a challenge as her dad. And I was just kind of like, hey, this isn't our situation right here. Like if it's a kid in the store, like you've seen, their mom or dad is there, they're handling that situation.
We don't need to help with that. We can't stop what we're doing to go to that. So I just feel like there's a relationship there for her that being in a space where she might feel someone is hurt, even though they may be feigning it, or just kind of going through the motion, like, you know, I feel bad. I feel like her not wanting people to feel hurt may put her in a vulnerable spot.
So that's why I have to lean on you in that position to say, okay, you've been a little girl before. What does that like for you? Right? And so as you shared your own experiences here thus far and other experiences, that's where the solution for tomorrow is born out of.
She still isn't gonna be a cookie cutter version of you. Although very close. But I say what I say. Wow.
But still, you know, it's totally different than what I recall as being a little boy, right? That's just not the world that I lived in. Well, so, but I'm turning to you in this situation because clearly I've already explained what my solution was and that got me to where I am today. I mean, and so when actually when you think about it, the whole reason why we're together, how we met is a situation like this.
I was walking out of the mall and out of nowhere was this man. And he's just like right there and it's like, you know, hey, baby, what you got in that bag for me? And I'm just like, oh my gosh. And a guy walked out of the mall behind me and was like, hey, man, leave my lady alone.
And the guy immediately was like, oh, my bad, my bad. And this stranger that just saved me from the derelict. Outside of the mall, walked me to my car. And I mean, I was shook.
I don't think there's any other way to describe it. I was shook. And to the point where I just kind of wandered out into the parking lot, I did not remember where my car was. And so it took us a little minute to find it because you were just like wandering around.
I'm like, oh, don't give me a second. Let me pull myself together because I don't even remember where I parked. But it just so happens then from that encounter, that meeting with this guy, then not knowing he was a friend of yours. And we got married.
Editor's Note, we get married because she couldn't say no to me. At least I hope. I don't know. You weren't the derelict outside of the mall.
Anywho, I'm simply saying that the visceral reaction that you shared, that you had, the, oh my gosh, that has to be discussed, that has to be expressed, that has to be put onto the table for discussion in the sense that we do stranger danger type talks with her. Like, hey, you don't type of strangers. Or in a situation, look to us and we'll either not, yep. Like, okay, it's okay to say something, or keep it moving, right?
So it has to kind of be that type of process to say, hey, this isn't appropriate. This isn't okay. Don't feel that you have to engage every person with that type of situation. I just don't think that's realistic.
But again, I don't come from your experience. Right. I don't expect you to, but you're the daddy. So...
Well, then I'm gonna give a, I'm gonna, you know, bollamace and be like, oh, yeah, here's my number. And spray them in the face and run. Like, you know, I don't know what else to say to that. Because again, she's gonna be literal anyway.
So getting her to understand, hey, this is the right, and there's a right and wrong way to handle those situations. And, you know, the bottom line is her safety is what's paramount. Right? So keep me hit on the swivel.
Minimize being a situation isolated, that sort of thing. And I mean, I think that's good for for every and anybody. In college, we were always on the buddy system that it was at least always two of us in a place at the same time looking out for each other. So that goes to the friend conversation that we had each other's backs.
It's just that whole idea of getting caught off guard by that person, you know, they don't do the thing anymore, do they? The air out of the tires? Oh, I don't know. Do they do that?
It's gonna, why is it how that somebody? That's gonna frown upon. Good answer. That's gonna frown upon it.
Do they do that? I don't know. I mean, I'm just saying like, just trying to think of like, how do you even set it up? Because to me, just like with everything else, there has to be a discussion.
Like we've had the discussions with her, you know, just asking random questions, hey, so if an adult comes to you and is like, hey, I lost my puppy. Will you help me find them? You know, we had to go through that because she was like, oh, that's so sad. Yeah, we'd have to go, no, wrong answer.
So, you know, I feel like we'll have to set up some scenarios and kind of just start quizzing about that as well. Yeah. Well, so I think that, and again, I'm not saying that whatever this lady's experience was that she didn't have an awareness, she didn't have just all those different things. Like anytime you're talking about a way to do something better, the intent is not to make light of what that other person went through her experience, but it's to learn from it and to say, okay, does that mean that she needs to have a self-defense course?
Okay, maybe, you know, do you have a definitely, she needs awareness because I think there's times that in devices are just walking, she doesn't have her head on the swivel to see what's around her. And I think that's part of the challenge. So that's the thing for you. Did you have your head on the swivel?
Were you aware of your surroundings and aware of people approaching you? And I think that for me is the start, right? That's a root cause thing. I'm constantly aware of who's approaching, what are they looking like, what are they doing, and what's my exit strategy?
I guess the exit strategy is the thing. That's gonna be the goal. But I mean, you don't have to be doom and gloom. There's crazy people everywhere, right?
And you just never know when those moments arise. So just being aware that, hey, this is part of reality, unfortunately in our society right now, the only way it gets better is if people are raising their, their kids better and if people are looking at them, they're turning me up themselves and say, hey, she told me no, this ain't the end of the world. Keep it moving, right? Like, how much time we got out of time?
So that scenario that I told you about in California where I met this person and I was pretty cool and so forth and so on. But then just based on a comment that I made, we'd exchanged numbers and whatnot and had talked to them and so forth and so on. But then based on a comment that I made out of just, she made the comment the next day, like, hey, I really wouldn't feel what you said. You can lose my number, have a nice life.
So I laugh about that. I couldn't tell you a name, I couldn't pull her out of a police line up today. But it was funny to me because it was so, like, have a nice life. Like, whatever else you're doing in this world, don't reach out to me again.
And that was tough because it was like, I was stuck more slowly on the comment that I made, not so much that she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I was okay with that. But it was the, like, oh, for that comment, have a nice life, like, wow, that's crazy. So I laugh about it and, you know, depending on the scenario, you know, if I'm mentoring kids, we'll share certain elements of that story.
Basically kind of say, like, hey, it's gonna be alright. Like, this moment may seem tough no matter how you had your hopes up, I thought that that was the one, but it wasn't. And it's okay, right? So don't put yourself in a spot.
Don't injure anybody, harm anybody as to where, you know, you may jeopardize your future, but it's gonna be alright. Thanks so much for joining us for today's episode. You know, one of the things that I read recently, and actually through the sorority, we're putting together a self-defense course for young ladies on a college campus, because one of the things that was said is that boys aren't taught how to accept rejection, I guess. But I'd like to think they're still being taught to not hit girls and to just be kind.
Well, they are in certain households, but I think that there are other households. People who have issues with feminists, I don't think it's been taught in their households. It's like, oh, well, if they want equal treatment, they're gonna you treat them equally. You know, some nonsense like that.
So I don't see it there. That's true, that's true. So I guess bottom line is that parents of whatever girls or boys are non-binary, whatever they... Parents of children.
Yes. If you are the parent of a child, then it's up to you, one, to raise your children, to respect others, but then you also have to make them aware of the dangers out there in the world and the things that they could possibly run into, and just kind of help them navigate that space. And you can't give them an example of every type of situation that they'll run into, but to give them some type of... But you gotta give them a starting vote, give them some foundation.
Right, foundation, that's perfect. They need a foundation to build off of. And then I think from there, they'd be better equipped to navigate whatever might be thrown at them. I can curve.
Well, all right, so there you have it. You know where to find me, that place that used to be called Twitter. Yeah. Really?
That place, X, and Instagram at HEVET, that's at HEY, EVETTE. I should have three hits. And so... By next week, I'll be on threads.
I'm there, but I'm not. I just haven't taken the time to look at it. But yeah, either way, it's still gonna be at HEVET, or hashtag, tweet trends. I feel like I need to change that.
You know, but... It'll be X trends. No, no, no. Thinking about just kicking them to the curb.
Yeah. Okay. Anyway. Well, they call it post now.
They don't call it tweets anymore. They call it post, repost. So, repost. Thank you.
Ooh, man. This might be the last time y'all hit me on this one. The one I just got. Looked at that by the executive producer.
So thanks for having me, family. Y'all be good out there. We'll see if I can fight it back the next time. Thanks for joining us on tweet trends.