What you're really working toward with mismatched libidos episode artwork

EPISODE · Dec 1, 2025 · 41 MIN

What you're really working toward with mismatched libidos

from Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want · host Laura Jurgens, Ph.D.

Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. And it wouldn't work anyway. I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of communication, then deciding how to manage whatever gap, if any, is left over. This means focusing first on better quality sex, real emotional connection, and removing what's blocking desire. Then making clean decisions together. Plus, we'll talk about why magic bullets or quick fixes don't work, and what does. Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guideMore links: Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheelCopyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited. 

Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. And it wouldn't work anyway. I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of communication, then deciding how to manage whatever gap, if any, is left over. This means focusing first on be...

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What you're really working toward with mismatched libidos

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This episode is 41 minutes long.

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This episode was published on December 1, 2025.

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Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. And it wouldn't work anyway. I walk through the actual...

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