When a Person is No Longer an Abstract Idea, a Shift Occurs

Hello Empowered Wayers!Today, I want to share a personal story. It touches on a controversial subject, but I hope you can feel my sincerity and nonjudgment. When our daughter was about 8 years old, we spent summer weekends at a lake close to our home. After a day of swimming, skiing, and being lazy, we would go out to eat.There was a restaurant a few miles up the road that was Lauren’s favorite place. It was next to the lake, and there were cabins and peacocks. But that wasn’t what attracted her - it was the horses that were in a pasture a short walk away.We became regulars and soon grew fond of one of the waitresses. Sue was in her late 30’s, a petite woman with blue eyes that sparkled and a laugh that made everyone smile. She always took the time to visit with us and she made sure that we sat in her section.One evening, as soon as we walked in, I could tell that Sue was not herself. Instead of greeting us as old friends, she mumbled a hello. I glanced at my husband with a look of concern, but we let it go as we sat down. And then, it happened.I received one of those intuitive nudges. At first, I tried to ignore it, but I finally gave in. Something was wrong with Sue and I was being urged to help.I excused myself from the table and walked over to where Sue was standing. I touched her arm and asked her if she had a minute. Her eyes finally met mine and tears gleamed, ready to fall. She took a deep breath and asked the other waitress to cover for her.We walked outside onto the deck that overlooked the lake. I waited for her to speak, but she kept hugging herself, rocking side to side. Just as I was about to speak, she said in a shaky voice, “I’m pregnant.”Obviously, this wasn’t joyous news. Sue became more upset and blurted out, “I can’t take care of a baby!” She started sobbing and I hugged her until the wave of emotion passed. She pulled back from me and declared with false determination, “I’m getting rid of it. It’s too much for me.” Her false bravado broke open and she cried desperately, “I can’t raise a child on my own.”The fear in her eyes said it all. Her mind was telling her all the reasons why this couldn’t happen and she was listening. But there was another aspect to this situation that she may not have considered.I nodded, knowing an abortion was the next logical step. I took a deep breath and said a quick prayer. I looked into her eyes and asked softly, “Is that what your heart wants you to do?”She shook her head no. “But I can’t afford a baby!” Fear and desperation became her armor. I knew the next words I said would impact more than one life.“Did you know that we adopted Lauren?” She shook her head and glanced back at the window, watching Lauren play a game of paper football with her father. I went on. “The birth mother considered an abortion, but decided to have the baby and find a wonderful set of adoptive parents.” Sue listened intently. I laughed and finished, “The way we connected with the birth mother was a miracle, but that’s another story.”She turned to go back inside, giving me one last hug. “Thank you,” she whispered.It was many months later that we returned to the restaurant. I looked for Sue, and as soon as she saw me, she rushed over. She was her old self, eyes sparkling and a sharing a laugh that made everyone smile.She hugged me and said, “I decided to have the baby. It was the best decision I ever made!” I was thrilled and listened as she gushed about her son. Photos of a cute, chubby boy with a grin like his mother’s were soon shared.The TakeawayWhen someone is an abstract idea, it’s much easier to dismiss them. That is true of racial interactions and for unexpected pregnancies. Instead of following your mind, take a moment and imagine the future. Then listen to your heart and allow it to speak. You may be surprised at what you hear.Fear constricts and limits. Love expands and grows. It’s always your choice in every moment which voice you listen to. The voice of fear or the voice of love. Give love space and time to express herself.Reason is powerless in the expression of Love. - RumiBefore making a permanent and irrevocable decision, allow love to be heard. Blessings,Kathryn This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit empoweredway.substack.com