When abuse feels familiar (S4 Ep4)

In this episode, we hear from a 44-year-old listener whose role as “the strong one” began far too early. Raised in the 80s as the eldest of four children to unmarried parents, she grew up learning to stay quiet, stay alert, and stay responsible. With a hard-working, emotionally absent, father and a mother she had to tiptoe around, she was placed into the role of parent long before she had the chance to be a child.Labelled, blamed, and isolated from friends, she became the family scapegoat — the one everything landed on. That early conditioning followed her into adulthood, where she found herself repeating familiar dynamics in an abusive relationship, feeling like a pawn caught between her partner and her mother.After finding the courage to leave, circumstances led her back into her mother’s home — and today, as she navigates court proceedings, she names the most frightening reality not as the legal battle, but as continued proximity to her mother.This episode explores scapegoating, parentification, narcissistic abuse, projection, and the deep nervous-system impact of growing up unsafe — as well as what it means to begin reclaiming choice, agency, and self-trust later in life.Follow Ruth on TikTokFollow Ruth on Instagramwww.callaghancounselling.ieQuiz - "Are You Really Going From Zero to Ten?"Find out where you're actually starting fromBEYOND SURVIVAL - The Therapy Podcast