When Did You Start Shrinking?

Jen Anderson and trauma therapist Kristen Burrus discuss “shrinking” after Jen recalls a client saying, almost casually, “I used to have a lot of opinions,” realizing many women gradually lose access to what they think and want through small, repeated self-edits meant to reduce tension. They describe how softening responses, avoiding conflict, and managing others’ reactions can feel like safety to the nervous system in the moment but erode a sense of self over time, until silence feels like personality. Kristen distinguishes fear-based suppression from healthy discretion and maturity, and they frame the difference as chosen values versus survival strategies. They share an example of a woman who became emotionally flat after years of filtering herself for her husband, and emphasize pausing to notice unfiltered thoughts. Listeners are invited to ask: When did you start editing yourself, and for whom?If you enjoyed this episode please connect with your hosts, Kristen or Jen, you can find us at the links below!Contact us at the podcast at:  [email protected] more about Kristen here: Instagram : enlighten_servicesWebsite : www.kristenburrus.comFacebook : enlighten_services Learn more about Jen here: Website : https://www.thankfulheartscoaching.com/Facebook : @thankfulheartscoaching Instagram : @[email protected]