When Fear is a Good Thing

In 2012, my husband and I took a cargo boat, which was way overloaded and inches from taking on water, for 3 days on the Niger river to Timbuktu. It was the most amazing adventure.  If you look at the photo for this podcast (taken in the Sahara), we look so in love - but what’s not apparent is that we are fleeing a Touareg takeover in Timbuktu and driving across the Sahara to escape. We stopped once to pee (and took this photo). And we weren’t even supposed to do that!  Ultimately, we live thinking we have control, but we do not.  “Safety” to most people means “nothing bad will happen to me.” Or “I will not feel afraid.”  But true safety lies within. Within our own psyche.  That’s because fear - that emotion we want to avoid that makes us seek safety - is about a perceived danger.   Sure, on the rare occasion, there is real danger out there. But usually, what we are afraid of is an emotion.  And fear is the #1 reason we don’t do things we want to do to create the life we want to live. And that doesn't serve us.  Trying to protect ourselves from all kinds of perceived danger doesn’t help us feel safer, even though our brains think it does.  Action that is skillful comes from a place of calm and wisdom and groundedness - that will keep us safe.  We can cultivate our ability to do this by walking towards the fear. In doing so over and over and over, that is how we build confidence. Not by “protecting” ourselves, but by intentionally going out there and building resilience and cultivating confidence - ziji, that radiant inner confidence - by doing shit even though we are scared.   Having a true sense of safety is about cultivating ziji - knowing you can handle what life sends your way.  And remember - emotions perceived as threats? It may feel like you’ll die of humiliation or fear or rejection... but you won’t.  Those things we can practice every day. Doing things that scare us.  That’s how you build your resiliency muscle, how you build confidence.  Sometimes - through things out of our control - crazy shit happens. No matter what.   And we can never prepare for those event sother than ensuring we build our resilience and know that life doesn’t send us anything we can't handle.  Fear is NOT a reason to avoid adventure. To avoid taking action towards our dreams.  What’s a perceived threat you have that isn’t really a threat or a danger to your physical safety? How can you walk closer to that today? How can you walk towards it, even if just one step? Share it with me in the RB FB group.  We have one precious life, rebels.  Go for it.  Topics in this week’s podcast: // What true safety is – and how to cultivate true refuge in yourself// How fear keeps us from living our best life// How (and when) to walk toward fear// Why it is essential that you learn to work with fear  Resources:// If you’re new to the squad, grab the starter kit I created at RebelBuddhist.com. It has all you need to start creating a life of more freedom, adventure, and purpose. You’ll get access to the private Facebook group where you can ask me questions! Once you join, there’s also a weekly FB live called Wake the F*ck Up Wednesday, where you can ask questions that come up as you do this work – in all parts of your life.   // If you’re interested in a really awesome way to make the next year your best one yet, join Freedom School. Enrollment is open! And there are some sweet bonuses for you. It will set you up to live the best version of you in the year to come. This is an amazing group of rebel women committed to creating lives of freedom, adventure and purpose. You can even gift a Freedom School membership to someone that you know could use the boost and come together! You’ll dive into getting clear about: what you want, how to clear your life of the things you don’t, skills for living an authentic life so you are out there being YOU and not what other people want you to be, and more. Learn more at JoinFreedomSchool.com