When France Invaded Wales and Lost to Wine, Pitchforks, and Angry Ladies in Tall Hats: The 1797 Fishguard Fiasco

On February 22, 1797, the last invasion of Britain began when four French warships deposited roughly 1,400 troops onto the beaches near Fishguard, Wales. What followed was less "military campaign" and more "drunken farce that somehow became a national embarrassment." The invasion force, grandly titled the "Black Legion," consisted largely of convicts and ne'er-do-wells under the command of an Irish-American colonel named William Tate, who had the misfortune of leading what would become one of history's most incompetent military operations. The plan—dreamed up by Revolutionary France—was to spark a Welsh uprising against English rule, raid Bristol, and generally cause havoc. Instead, the French troops immediately stumbled upon a Portuguese ship that had wrecked nearby, its cargo of wine and brandy conveniently scattered across the beach. The soldiers, apparently deciding invasion could wait, proceeded to drink themselves senseless. They then wandered the countryside looting and getting progressively more inebriated. Local Welsh women, led by a 47-year-old cobbler's wife named Jemima Nicholas, decided they'd had quite enough of this nonsense. Nicholas personally captured twelve French soldiers with a pitchfork. Meanwhile, Welsh militia commander Lord Cawdor gathered what forces he could muster—and legend has it that local women in traditional tall black hats and red cloaks marched on the hills, whom the hungover French allegedly mistook for British Redcoats in far greater numbers. After two days of this chaos, Colonel Tate surrendered unconditionally. Britain's last invasion ended not with a bang, but with a whimper and a massive collective hangover. This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI.