When “How to Treat a Man” Teaches Women to Disappear

I unpack a viral TikTok that has been shared hundreds of thousands of times—and why its message is far more dangerous than it first appears.On the surface, the video presents itself as “relationship advice” about how women can keep men happy. In reality, it reinforces coercive control, sexual entitlement, and the idea that women are responsible for regulating men’s emotions, egos, and loyalty—often at the expense of their own boundaries, bodies, and well-being.I break down:How this type of content subtly trains women to doubt themselvesWhy framing women as a man’s “peace” is a red flag, not a virtueHow sexual coercion gets normalized and disguised as intimacy adviceThe link between these messages and trauma bondingWhy “respect,” “appreciation,” and “affection” become tools of control in abusive dynamicsHow women are conditioned to abandon themselves to keep relationships stableThis episode is direct, emotional, and unapologetic. It is not about attacking men. It is about naming narratives that groom women to tolerate neglect, emotional abuse, and coercion—while being told they are the problem.The video: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8y6LN2x/Support the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: [email protected]{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner