When It Was Never About Change: Understanding the Psychology Behind Cluster B Abuse

Dr. Kerry McAvoy joins me to discuss the most confusing and painful parts of surviving a relationship with someone who has Cluster B traits, including narcissistic, antisocial, borderline, and histrionic personality disorders.We explore:The neurological and psychological reasons why people with Cluster B disorders don’t changeWhy survivors feel crazy, confused, and exhausted—and why that’s by designHow splitting, emotional dysregulation, and weaponized remorse show up in real relationshipsThe difference between low capacity and emotional immaturity vs. willful abuseHow to tell if the “person you miss” was ever real—or just the hookWhy grief work is essential when letting go of the fantasy version of who you thought they wereDr. Kerry offers insight from both her clinical background and lived experience. If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why won’t they change?” or “Was any of it real?”—this episode will help you understand why the answer is more devastating and liberating than you thought.Learn more about Dr. Kerry McAvoy’s work and grab her book Love You More at kerrymcavoyphd.com. To join her Toxic-Free Relationship ClubSupport the show*Please Note: there is a long intro that explains my services. If you do not want to listen, just fast-forward 5 mins past. This intro will be changed in future recordings to be shorter. I am not paid to record this podcast and it is a free offering. Offering my work is the only way I can sustain the podcast*Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your RelationshipWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: [email protected]{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner