When Meetings Become Theatre – Why We Perform At Work and What Makes Meetings Better

In this episode of Frustrated and Exhausted, Ruth dives deep into the performative nature of workplace meetings, exploring why so many of us feel compelled to "act" in these spaces and what organizational factors drive this behavior. Ruth unpacks the cultural, political, and emotional layers that shape how we show up in meetings, and shares actionable strategies for making meetings more effective, authentic, and conducive to real thinking.Topics CoveredThe Performance of MeetingsRuth examines how people often perform competence, composure, and alignment in meetings, rather than showing up authentically or admitting uncertainty 00:36.Meetings as a Mirror of CultureMeetings reveal organizational dynamics like hierarchy, trust, clarity, and psychological safety — sometimes more so than any other organizational setting 01:35.Why We Manage Perceptions Over SubstanceRuth discusses how meetings can devolve into spaces for perception management, leaving real concerns unspoken and transforming meetings into "theatre" instead of opportunities for genuine thought 03:30.The Problems of Performative MeetingsPolished contributions take precedence over unfinished or exploratory thinking.Performance anxiety leads to less useful meetings where doubts remain unspoken 05:41.Making Meetings Better: Practical TipsClarify the Purpose of MeetingsBe explicit about whether the meeting is for discussion, decision-making, or brainstorming. Setting this up-front reduces the pressure to perform and gives everyone clarity on expected contributions 06:13.Normalize Unfinished ThinkingEncourage people to share half-formed ideas by modeling exploratory language ("I'm still thinking this through," "This is half formed") 08:08.Leaders Should Avoid Speaking FirstSenior people should hold back to avoid unintentionally narrowing the conversation. Invite others to share perspectives and truly listen before weighing in 09:38.Pace MattersFast meetings may encourage shallow thinking. Sometimes allowing space for silence and slower reflection leads to deeper, more thoughtful contributions 12:02.Separate Challenge from ThreatFocus on challenging ideas rather than critiquing individuals, so that disagreement doesn’t feel like a personal threat 14:00.Reflection QuestionsWhat version of yourself turns up in meetings? How does it change based on the setting or seniority of others present? 00:15:00What behaviors are modeled and rewarded in the meetings you attend or lead?Thank you for listening!Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website