When Perfectionism Looks Like Avoidance

Have you ever watched your child melt down before a project even begins, refuse to try unless they're sure they'll succeed, or abandon something halfway through? If so, you're not alone—and it's not laziness or stubbornness. This week on the podcast, we're unpacking the hidden side of perfectionism in our neurodivergent kids, especially when it shows up as avoidance. Key Takeaways Normalize Beginnerhood: Let your child see you start new things and make mistakes—show them it's okay not to be perfect right away. Shrink the Entry Point: Break projects into tiny, manageable steps so getting started feels less intimidating. Praise Effort, Not Perfection: Celebrate risk-taking, persistence, and trying—mistakes are experiences, not identity. Model Emotional Safety: Remind your child that progress matters, mistakes are allowed, and their worth isn't tied to performance. Collaborate & Scaffold: Offer body-doubling, share in tasks, and provide extra support when needed—support is not failure. Links and Resources from Today's Episode Thank you to our sponsors: CTC Math – Flexible, affordable math for the whole family! The Learner's Lab – Online community for families homeschooling outside-the-box learners! The Lab: An Online Community for Families Homeschooling Neurodivergent Kiddos The Homeschool Advantage: A Child-Focused Approach to Raising Lifelong Learners Raising Resilient Sons: A Boy Mom's Guide to Building a Strong, Confident, and Emotionally Intelligent Family The Anxiety Toolkit Sensory Strategy Toolkit | Quick Regulation Activities for Home Affirmation Cards for Anxious Kids Tackling Perfectionism | A Conversation with Lisa Van Gemert Managing Perfectionism | Strategies for Parents Anxiety vs. Stress vs. Perfectionism: Helping Our Children Cope Perfectionism And Gifted Children: What You Need To Know Managing Perfectionism: 10 Tips for Helping Your Gifted Child RLL #81: [Audioblog] Managing Perfectionism: 10 Tips for Helping Your Child RLL #55: Helping Your Child Manage Perfectionism RLL #52: Overcoming Perfectionism and Finding Joy in Homeschooling Homeschool Testing | Helping Your Perfectionist Do Hard Things