When Rejection Feels Like a Threat, Rethinking Rejection Sensitivity& RSD

Ever sent a message, received a reply that felt slightly off, and suddenly found yourself convinced you had been rejected?In this episode of Even The Dog Has ADHD I’m joined by researcher and coach Stella Bell to rethink rejection sensitivity and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, RSD, particularly in ADHD and neurodivergent lives.Rather than treating an intense response to rejection as simply an overreaction, Stella explores what may actually be happening in the nervous system when rejection feels like a threat.We look at where the term **Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria** came from, how it differs from the much longer history of research into rejection sensitivity, and why Stella prefers to understand rejection sensitivity as a threat response rather than a character flaw.We also explore the different ways that response can show up, including **fight, flight, freeze, fawn and the often overlooked flop response**, where everything seems to drain out of you and functioning suddenly becomes much harder.And perhaps most importantly, we talk about what happens before, during and after a rejection episode.Why does logical thinking become harder when your nervous system believes you are under threat?What makes you more vulnerable to being tipped into that state in the first place?And what can you actually do when you realise it is happening?Stella shares practical ways of supporting your nervous system, from sleep, regular food, movement and reducing constant digital input, to grounding, co-regulation and knowing when not to send the message, answer the email or make the decision.Because sometimes the most useful question isn't:“Why am I reacting like this?”It is:“What does my nervous system think is happening right now?”Timestamps00:00 – Welcome and introducing Stella Bell01:46 – What is rejection sensitivity, and where does “dysphoria” come from?13:22 – Fight, flight, freeze, fawn and flop19:10 – Why logical thinking becomes harder during a threat response32:33 – Your nervous-system baseline, sleep, food, movement and digital input36:29 – Co-regulation, safe people and creating a sense of safety58:51 – What to do when a rejection episode actually hits01:01:05 – Why you shouldn't reply, react or make big decisions immediatelyExplore more episodes and ways to work with me:https://eventhedoghasadhd.com/podcast**Even The Dog Has ADHD**, because apples don't fall far from trees, and there's never just one.RESEARCH & RESOURCES MENTIONEDGeraldine Downey, Rejection Sensitivity ResearchGeraldine Downey has researched rejection sensitivity and its relationship with expectations of rejection, relationships and attachment since the 1990s.Dr William W. Dodson, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)Psychiatrist William Dodson popularised the term Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in relation to ADHD.Short article on LinkedIn by Stella Bell about RS Why Stella has stopped engaging with the newsThe PoemThe poem mentioned in this episode is by Tori Wagg. Here's a link to Tori's website for more about her poetry and how to buy her collections.https://toriwagg.com/Show Host: Diana HayesWebsiteLinkedInInstagramShow Guest: Stella BellWebsiteLinkedIn