When Spouses Cross Lines: Dear Abby Edition
An episode of the An Americanist podcast, hosted by Carol Marks, titled "When Spouses Cross Lines: Dear Abby Edition" was published on July 11, 2025 and runs 10 minutes.
July 11, 2025 ·10m · An Americanist
Summary
TALK TO ME, TEXT IT What happens when trust is broken in a relationship? Today we explore the complex boundaries we set and the red flags we sometimes ignore when dealing with those closest to us. The show kicks off with a look at concerning news stories - from a Canadian police official suggesting traditional values might indicate extremism to the DOJ investigating doctors performing transgender procedures on minors. But the heart of our conversation revolves around three jaw-dropping relat...
Episode Description
What happens when trust is broken in a relationship? Today we explore the complex boundaries we set and the red flags we sometimes ignore when dealing with those closest to us.
The show kicks off with a look at concerning news stories - from a Canadian police official suggesting traditional values might indicate extremism to the DOJ investigating doctors performing transgender procedures on minors. But the heart of our conversation revolves around three jaw-dropping relationship scenarios straight from Dear Abby's mailbag.
First, we meet a woman whose husband of 32 years has been secretly inviting a young female bartender to their home - planning their meetups specifically when his wife would be out of town. The secrecy and text messages between them leave little doubt about inappropriate boundaries being crossed, despite Dear Abby's lukewarm advice about "marriage counseling."
Next comes a husband who gave his bankrupt ex-wife a "huge amount of money" without consulting his current wife - then when confronted, offered three choices: be happy about it, accept an equal amount of money for herself, or get a divorce. This ultimatum-style approach to marriage raises serious questions about partnership and financial boundaries.
Perhaps most troubling is the oil rig worker who abandoned his wife immediately after her spinal surgery to hang out with friends, despite doctor's orders to monitor her for complications. His dismissive "I can't spend time with my friends?" response when she called in pain speaks volumes about his priorities.
These stories prompted our question of the day: What red flags do you notice when meeting someone new that make you reconsider engaging with them? For me, it's inability to maintain eye contact during conversation - what's yours?
Share your thoughts on relationship red flags and join me and The Gent this Sunday for Brood Awakening and Sunday Scuttlebutt at 2pm Central!
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Music by Alehandro Vodnik from Pixabay
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