When Teaching Kids “Doesn’t Work”… Until It Does

Some lessons don’t land the first time. Or the tenth. But then—something shifts. In this episode, Justin shares a surprising win from “explicit teaching” with his kids, and Kylie opens up about kinesiology, therapy, and why the evidence doesn’t always tell the whole story. This one hits deep for any parent who’s trying to raise values-led kids while staying connected through the teenage years. KEY POINTS Why teens need us in the details of their lives — even when they push back The power of a safe third party in tough conversations (psychology vs. kinesiology) How “explicit teaching” actually works in real families (the media/music example) When values stick — and why discussion beats lecturing every time The shift from compliance → identification → integration when kids choose their values QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “We don’t tell them what they have to do — we share principles, ask what they think, and keep the conversation going.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Misconnection: Why Your Teenage Daughter Hates You, Expects the World, and Needs to Talk (Justin Coulson PhD) ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Create safe third-party spaces. This could be a psychologist, mentor, aunt, uncle, or trusted adult — not always paid. Use explicit teaching sparingly — but consistently. Small conversations over time beat one big lecture. Ask values-based questions. Try: “What do you think this message does to you?” Let them wrestle. Real learning happens in the tension — not in compliance. Keep reflecting, don’t direct. Facilitate decisions instead of making them for your kids. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.