When the Abuser Is Your Father – John McCullum Bravely Opens Up.

In this powerful and deeply emotional episode of our men’s mental health podcast, we sit down with John McCullum, who bravely shares his lifelong journey of surviving childhood sexual abuse, PTSD, depression, and suicidal thoughts.From a very young age, John was sexually abused by his own father, with the abuse continuing throughout his childhood and teenage years. John stayed silent for years, driven by fear of not being believed and a desperate desire to protect his mother from the truth. Tragically, John was also sexually abused by his father’s best friend — an attack that lasted several hours before John managed to escape. Once again, he carried this trauma alone.At just 15 years old, John finally confronted his father and told him the abuse had to stop. While the abuse ended, the emotional damage followed John into adulthood. He turned to alcohol, drugs, and violence as coping mechanisms, while his unresolved trauma deeply affected his relationships. John avoided becoming a father for years, haunted by the fear that he might become like his abuser.John’s mental health deteriorated further, leading to psychiatric care and multiple suicide attempts. When John bravely spoke out about his faher friend and saw justice in court, John still remained silent about his own father. It wasn’t until later in life — after rebuilding his life, becoming a father himself, and losing his mother — that John finally disclosed the abuse to his siblings, only to face disbelief.Today, John speaks openly about his experiences with male sexual abuse, PTSD, and depression, using his voice to encourage other men to break the silence, seek help, and know they are not alone.We are also joined briefly by John’s son, Kieran, who shares what it’s like growing up with a father living with PTSD and depression — offering a rare and honest perspective on intergenerational trauma and healing.⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussions of sexual abuse, suicide, PTSD, and addiction.If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek professional help or reach out to a trusted support service.