When to Counteract Perfectionism with Salwa K.

Salwa's 4-year-old daughter is incredibly smart and mature. She understands and makes connections at a much more advanced level than other kids her age. But when she doesn't understand something, it has a devastating effect on her and she tends to shut down. Further, the problem has begun to leak into other parts of her life: her inability in most areas will produce the same effect in her. Today, we talk about the perfectionistic tendencies behind this behavior and what Salwa can do to encourage her daughter to try new things even when she might not succeed. We talk about instilling the idea that you don't have to put 100% of yourself into everything you do, and that it's okay not to be good at everything. We define positive reinforcement and discuss why the common understanding of it can be problematic. We talk about introducing the concept of trial and error, and we discuss the benefits of talking to your children about your failures and explaining that they're actually an exciting chance to experiment and play around with ideas.   "Reinforcement comes from engagement." - Sue Groner   This week on The Parenting Mentor: Counteracting perfectionism Explaining that it's okay not to be good at everything Internalizing positive reinforcement in your child Emphasizing the process over the result Introducing the concept of trial and error Explaining the benefits of failure   Meet the Parenting Mentor If you want to reduce the everyday stress and anxiety that inevitably come with parenting and learn to be a happier and more relaxed parent, then this is the place for you. Here, you can listen in on real sessions with parents who open up about the specific challenges they face with children from 2 to 22. Listen along and gain perspectives and strategies to help you parent with sanity and joy. Visit theparentingmentor.com for notes on this show, more episodes, and all the ways to subscribe, and don't forget to pick up my book, Parenting with Sanity and Joy: 101 Simple Strategies, which includes my Nine Golden Rules of Parenting. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts! Spotify I Stitcher I Apple Podcasts I iHeart Radio I TuneIn I Google Podcasts