WHEN to LIE to MOM. Caregiver “White Lies”

Contact Helping.Mom (we don’t spam) WHEN to Lie to Mom Liar liar pants on fire, when is it right to lie to your mother. Or other care receiver?  We Lie all time: Like fletcher Reed in hilarious Jim Carrey movie liar liar. What would happen if we had to tell truth in every situation for 24 hrs!!!  We lie so often we call them white lies. Pure lies. Harmless lies. Since 1500s—pure lies oxymoron.  Dont lie, when phone rings, “tell them im not here.”  You look great in that outfit Don’t tell your mother!  Kids: I promise, we won’t… I swear to God… On my mother’s life  Cross my heart, hope to die…stick a needle in my eye!  No, granny, we love your meatloaf; its just that we ate before we got here. Im on my way. Well be there in 10 minutes Your kids not fat, just big boned. Im eating for 2. Laughing at joke that wasn't really funny Ill call you. Were praying for ya’ I didn't get your text  Everything coming out of wash dc!  Joke: how do you know when a politician is lying—their lips are moving.   Verses in Bible which make lying a sin: Lying lips are an abomination to God  God hates a lying tongue  Satan is father of liars; he was liar from beginning Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness Against Your Neighbor So when is right: When safety dictates. “The doctor said..”  When they cannot distinguish reality from fiction. When truth too much. It confuses. It’s too complex  When you know their limits but they do not. It preserves their sanity.  When it preserves your health and sanity  Its my business, and no one else’s business To protect someone else, their name, their face. Their good graces.  Many things too trivial & unimportant to Go into, explain, defend, justify  When challenges key belief stereotype bias she leans on. Even crazy things  When she will forget IF person emotionally fragile, near death, or would be confused by truth. Where in situation unable to control  (were going to die in plane crash; “everything’s okay.” Or you have bad information When cost of telling truth outweighs cost of lie (hiding a Jew example)  Tips on How to Lie: Speak truth in love  Love covers multitude of sins If can’t, say next best thing  Never in anger  Never to hurt  Be positive  Speak in active voice  Goal: best quality of life possible w-I larger context of rights & interests of others What say let be truth—even if incomplete  If real serious involve someone else in discussion