When We Don’t Want to Feel - The Truth About Avoiding Our Emotions

Episode 8: When We Don’t Want to Feel - The Truth About Avoiding Our EmotionsWelcome back to All the Feels, sweet friends. 💛In this episode, Lauren Carlisle Brown takes a compassionate, honest look at one of the most common — and misunderstood — ways we handle our emotions: avoiding them.Lauren explains what emotional avoidance really is, how it shows up in everyday life (often without us realizing), and why behaviors like overworking, overeating, scrolling, overdrinking, shopping, or “keeping busy” can become default ways of coping when feelings feel like too much.She also acknowledges that some of the topics in this episode — like addiction and overuse of substances or behaviors — can feel heavy. With deep care, Lauren invites you to listen with an open heart, reminding you that avoidance is not a sign of failure but a very human attempt to find relief.From there, she gently guides you into a powerful reframe: while unconscious avoiding can create problems over time, there is a way to work with this pattern more lovingly through something she calls a supportive pause — a form of conscious avoiding that protects your system without numbing you out.In this episode, you’ll learn:What emotional avoidance actually is (and what it looks like day-to-day)Why we instinctively reach for distractions, numbing, and “over-” behaviorsHow Western culture normalizes and even glorifies avoidanceThe role dopamine plays in numbing patterns — and why this is deeply human, not a character flawHow unconscious avoiding can range from mild overdoing to strong habits and, in some cases, addictionWhy compassion (not shame) is the only doorway to real changeWhat conscious avoiding / a supportive pause is — and how to use it wiselyWhat Is a Supportive Pause?Lauren introduces the idea of a supportive pause — an intentional, gentle way to step back from overwhelming feelings without abandoning yourself.A supportive pause might look like:Taking a walk or stepping outside for fresh airWatching something light or funny for a few minutesListening to music, dancing, or moving your bodyDoing a simple grounding or somatic practiceEnjoying a small, safe pleasure that doesn’t create negative fallout laterThe key is that a supportive pause:Soothes rather than numbsHas no harmful consequences on the other sideAnd is paired with the intention to return to your emotions when you have more capacityIt’s not about escaping your feelings forever. It’s about creating enough space so you can eventually come back to them with more steadiness, clarity, and care.Every moment of noticing is a step toward deeper emotional safety and self-trust.✨ Free Resource: The Emotional Flow MapIf emotional resistance or avoidance is part of what’s creating stagnation, Lauren’s Emotional Flow Map is the place to start.The Flow Map teaches the four ways humans naturally handle emotions:ReactResistAvoidAllowThe goal isn’t to eliminate reacting, resisting, or avoiding. The goal is consciousness, and always circling back to allowing.You can download the free Emotional Flow Map Workbook HERE. It walks you step-by-step through how to move emotions instead of stockpiling them.Take the next step in your self-care journeyDownload The Exquisite Self-Care Handbook, Lauren’s free guide to help you slow down, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with what truly nourishes you. It’s the perfect companion to the work we explore here on All the Feels.👉 Get your free copy of The Exquisite Self-Care Handbook HEREConnect with LaurenInstagram: @the_emotionscoachWebsite: laurencarlislebrown.comFreebie: The Exquisite Self-Care Handbook