When we struggle with the question: Am I enough?

Psalm 139:14 “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well.” You may also want to read Luke 12:22-34.

 What is enough?  Has that question ever occurred to you? Do you struggle with the question of your being enough? Smart enough, pretty/handsome enough, talented enough, caring enough, generous enough? A good enough friend, parent, spouse, coworker, citizen? Then there is the question, do I have enough? Enough of the things that help me feel that I am enough, that I can compete with others as I feel I need to, that I am acceptable and belong. Do I need the latest, the best, one more thing that will surely fulfill me? And finally, do I do enough? Am I contributing enough, am I involved enough, do I work hard enough? Each of these lists can be endless.

  If any of these questions have nagged at you in that deep place you would prefer not to acknowledge, you are not alone. I believe that most, if not all of us, struggle with this very basic sense of not being, doing or having enough. I have heard this in my work as a therapist and spiritual director. I have struggled with it in my own life. Deep down inside, we question if we measure up. Does who we are, what we have and what we do rise to the standards that have been created and set by a demanding and consumer oriented society? A society that continually seeks to show us where we fall short and need to be, do and have more to be accepted, loved, safe and secure. We have been sold the belief that we can achieve perfection and “have it all”. The result is exhaustion and frustration. Enough is forever an elusive goal. 

 This affects how we are present to God, others and ourselves, and how we respond to the call of the Gospel to live simply, love greatly and care for our world with justice, equity and sustainability. Minister, author and therapist, Wayne Muller opens the first chapter of his book “a life of being, having and doing enough”, with the statement “We have forgotten what enough feels like.” The remainder of the book develops this and explains how we can become more balanced as we practice what truly matters in life. 

 As you begin this week’s Examen, become aware of your body and take three deep breaths to relax, making each exhale longer than each inhale. 

·       Place yourself in God’s presence. How does it feel to come into God’s presence? Give thanks for God’s great love for you. Is this great love enough for you? If so, how? If not, why?

·       Pray for the grace to understand how God is acting in your life. 

·       Review your day — recall specific moments and your feelings at the time. When were you aware of “not enough” feelings; feelings of scarcity and lack? When did you feel the opposite? A sense of enough? How did that feel? Stay with that feeling, savor it.

·       Reflect on what you did, said, or thought in those instances. How did your sense of enoughness or lack thereof affect what you said, did and thought? Were you drawing closer to God, or further away? When did you feel close to God or far away from God?

·       Look toward tomorrow — think of how you might collaborate more effectively with Spirit. Be specific. How might you become more content with what is enough in your life? 

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