When You Ask Me First

I played this song opening for Kenny Loggins at a huge ‘date-night’ concert in the gym at UC–SanDiego in 1977. Fortunately they appreciated satire! WHEN YOU ASK ME FIRST Cho: Well I love to do it Baby A But you only make it worse Bm I just don’t get excited Bm When you go and ask me first! A So don’t touch me where I’m ticklish A And don’t sit on my lap, Bm And don’t ask me politely Baby E It makes me feel trapped. A ‘Cause when you chase me, Darlin’ A It really turns me off Bm I’ve tried so hard to tell you, D But I guess I’m getting soft, E7 So please, just sit and smile A With helpless soulful eyes F#m Admiring me while F#m I run my finger up your thighs! C#7 Then I kiss you, … C#7 And I breathe heavy in your ear, C#7 And you should whisper “Take me! Take me!” D7 And could you make it sound sincere? E7 Cho: I love to do it Baby But you only make it worse, I just don’t get excited When you go and ask me first! When I start to change positions Like the pictures in the book, And use a couple mirrors So I can see how neat we look! You start to change positions too, In ways I’ve never seen! And you kiss with your eyes open! And you laugh, and yell, and scream! You used to be more normal, Yeah, you liked it face-to-face. But now you’re going crazy And you like it anyplace! You said I could be on top. You said you understood, But all last night you wouldn’t stop! Awww, …you busted it for good! Cho: I love to do it Baby But you only make it worse, I just don’t get excited When you go and ask me first! Cho: Yes, I love to do it Darlin’ When everything is right, But I think I feel my headache Coming on again tonight! Written by Peter Alsop © 1977, Moose School Music (BMI) On ‘Asleep At The Helm’ & ‘Songs On Sex & Sexuality’ peteralsop.com I encourage folks to be aware of the stories we have about ourselves, in relation to the world around us. The stories that have the most effect on us can be the ones that ‘keep us going’, when the ‘going gets rough’, …or the ones that taught us we must ‘live with things the way they are’, no matter how painful! No wonder this guy in this song is ‘scared’ and ‘confused’ and busy trying to control things! In fact, the stories we grew up with to survive in our family of origin and our culture, … need to be identified, dusted off, shaken out and retold to ourselves with healthier plot lines and endings! We can’t change our history, but we can change our stories. Growing up as a boy in any one of our worldwide patriarchal cultures, ... we are besieged with all sorts of stories about sex and girls and women. We hear stories about what boys and men can expect and how we should behave. This song is a reality check for any men who learned as a boy that we’re supposed to be in charge! Camping With Dads My newest album ‘Camping With Dads’ is a long-form story that centers on what us Dads can do to stop passing on unhealthy male messages to our boys. We often tell the very same jokes and stories that men in our lives taught us when we were boys! This album is for all men, … boys, dads, grandads, uncles and cousins; … to reflect on our behaviors; to root out some of our old tired stories, and to commit to hold ourselves responsible every time we do something that puts down women or girls or treats them like second class humans, regardless of our intended good intentions. (It’s also for moms, grammas, aunts and sisters!) For fifty years I’ve written songs to help grow and support a culture where men and boys care how girls and women are treated; a culture where we foster caring, kindness and a regard for women, girls, and boys! Some of our stories taught us that if a male gets ‘sexually aroused’ or ‘turned-on’ by a woman, it’s her fault! And therefore, males have the right to expect them to ‘relieve our arousal’. Boys and men often obsess about a female as the object of their lust, and when our misplaced sexual expectations are not met, these same real live women can become the target of our dangerous male anger. When a ‘Dad’ catches himself saying “C’mon son! Don’t cry. Cowboy up! What are you, a sissy!?” Can we take that moment to stop, ... apologize, ... and explain to our sons (and daughters!), that a remark like that came from our ‘old training’? Maybe share with them where we may have picked that story up! And most importantly, why WE want to stop passing these messages on to them, our sons, … and daughters! The Women’s ‘#MeToo Movement’ models wonderful solidarity of ‘sisterhood’! When a woman speaks up about her male abuser, she has to face being re-abused by a culture and a legal system that blames the survivor. Men get accused of doing things they didn’t do, ... but the number of those occasions are minuscule compared to the number of times women are abused and cannot speak up, because they know what will happen to them if they decide to accuse a man of sexual abuse. It takes great courage for any woman to stand up and tell, ... just as it does, for another women to come forward, join the first woman and tell her story about the same perpetrator who has abused them both. That’s why we need #MeToo!, … so individual women do not have to face our mostly male-run legal system by themselves. “When You Ask Me First” is on ASLEEP AT THE HELM My CAMPING WITH DADS album has stories and songs to be shared with the whole family to bring up subjects we need to look at for boys and men to change our ways! And you can find my CDs, DVDs & Songbooks at: Bandcamp.com. Lemme know what you think! I’d love to hear from you! Please send comments or ask questions! Send me an email! Stay safe out there! Keep singing! Please VOTE your heart! Big changes going on, ... and many big stories need changing! Bye for now! Peter Check out my audio podcasts here: Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW LIKE COMMENT RESTACK Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe