When You Think You Said the Wrong Thing at an Event

You leave the event. At first, it’s fine. And then, somewhere between the coat rack and the journey home, it starts -  That conversation, that sentence, that moment you wish you could rewind. Why did I say that? That sounded awkward. I should’ve said something else. They probably think I’m …. And just like that, the whole night begins to shift. Not as it happened, but as a story about what you got wrong. We’ve been building this over the last few episodes: what stops you going, what happens when you’re in the room, how you see yourself when you’re there. This is what happens afterwards - the replay, the spiral.   This isn’t reflection. It’s rumination. And if you’re a creative person, you are particularly good at it, because your job is to imagine, to create meaning, to connect dots, to tell stories. Memory and imagination sit very close together in the brain.  So, when something feels uncomfortable, you don’t just remember it. You reconstruct it. You fill in the gaps, you add interpretation, you build a narrative.  And that narrative feels real, even when it’s not accurate.   Today, I unpack why your post‑event spiral feels so convincing, how it quietly keeps you out of the rooms you want to be in, and share 3 practical ways to interrupt the loop so you can follow up and show up without the cringe. KEY TAKEAWAYS Artists rarely just leave an event. They are brilliant at rewriting it. That one sentence, that one look becomes: “I got that wrong.” “They weren’t interested.” Not because it happened that way, but because your brain decided it did. When a warped version of how the night went is the only one you listen to, it doesn’t just make you cringe - it quietly edits your future. You don’t follow up, you don’t go back, you stay out of rooms you should be in - your career stalls. Subtly shifting how you think about an event is all that is needed to get things back on track. BEST MOMENTS “Rumination is not about solving problems. It's about trying to reduce uncertainty and emotional discomfort - the mind loops not to find truth but to try and regain control.” “The shift is - change your relationship to the thought. Instead of I got that wrong, try I'm having the thought that I got that wrong.” “Give yourself a more grounded version of the event.” PODCAST HOST BIO With over 35 years in the art world, Ceri has worked closely with leading artists and arts professionals, managed public and private galleries and charities, and curated more than 250 exhibitions and events. She has sold artworks to major museums and private collectors and commissioned thousands of works across diverse media, from renowned artists such as John Akomfrah, Pipilotti Rist, Rafael Lozano-Hemmer and Vito Acconci. Now, she wants to share her extensive knowledge with you, so you can excel and achieve your goals. **** Ceri Hand Coaching Membership: Group coaching, live art surgeries, exclusive masterclasses, portfolio reviews, weekly challenges. Access our library of content and resource hub anytime and enjoy special discounts within a vibrant community of peers and professionals. Ready to transform your art career? Join today! https://cerihand.com/membership/ **** Unlock Your Artworld Network Self Study Course Our self-study video course, "Unlock Your Artworld Network," offers a straightforward 5-step framework to help you build valuable relationships effortlessly. Gain the tools and confidence you need to create new opportunities and thrive in the art world today. https://cerihand.com/courses/unlock_your_artworld_network/ **** Book a Discovery Call Today To schedule a personalised 1-2-1 coaching session with Ceri or explore our group coaching options, simply email us at [email protected] **** Discover Your Extraordinary Creativity Visit www.cerihand.com to learn how we can help you become an extraordinary creative. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk