When Your Child Comes Out as Gay: A Story of Belonging, Faith, and Family with Dave and Kirty Zimmerman

When Dallin Zimmerman was four years old, he memorized every Article of Faith. As a teenager, he studied Portuguese and Spanish, and had long been the family's peacemaker — a bright, fun-loving light that people gravitate toward. Today he's serving a full-time mission in South America. And at thirteen, years before any of that, he sat down with his parents and asked a question that would shape everything ahead: "What if I'm gay?"Today we're talking with Dave and Kirty, Dallin's parents, married 22 years, raising four kids, longtime Utah County residents. For more than three years, they kept Dallin's story private, scared of what they might lose, and of what it would cost Dallin if their community found out. Many of their questions remained unresolved. But eventually, the secret became too heavy to carry alone. So together, they helped Dallin share his story with trusted leaders in their ward, in a gathering of Young Men and Young Women leaders who had known him for years, he bore his testimony, and shared that he is gay. One by one, these leaders stood up, embraced him and assured him that he was so loved—and that he belonged. That moment marked the beginning of a new way forward, where isolation gave way to the healing that comes from being known and loved.In this conversation, Dave and Kirty are remarkably candid about the fear they felt at first, the questions that still remain, and the unexpected ways this journey has transformed them—a journey that, as Kirty says, has become "the biggest blessing of their lives."Dave and Kirty would be the first to tell you their story isn't a prescription for any other family's journey. But if you're a parent near the beginning of this path, or a leader wondering how to better love and support the youth in your ward, we hope you'll be inspired by their courage, their humility, and creativity.You can find even more resources around this topic on our website, faithmatters.org.