When Your Frenemy Group Chat Goes Too Far: Julius Caesar's Really Bad Day at the Office

On March 15, 44 BCE, Julius Caesar learned the hard way that "Beware the Ides of March" was not merely a scheduling reminder but rather excellent life-saving advice he should have heeded. The Roman dictator had been warned by a soothsayer named Spurinna to watch out for danger on this particular day. Caesar, displaying the sort of confident dismissiveness that tends to precede terrible outcomes, allegedly quipped "The Ides of March have come" when he spotted Spurinna on his way to the Senate. The soothsayer replied, with what we can only imagine was significant eye-rolling, "Aye, Caesar, but not gone." Moments later, Caesar entered the Theatre of Pompey, where the Senate was meeting. He was promptly set upon by a group of senators wielding daggers like the world's worst surprise party. Led by Gaius Cassius Longinus and Marcus Junius Brutus, somewhere between 23 and 60 conspirators (ancient sources vary, probably because it's difficult to take accurate attendance during a stabbing) participated in the attack. Caesar received 23 stab wounds, though a later physician determined only one was actually fatal—which seems like remarkable inefficiency for a group conspiracy. The famous last words "Et tu, Brute?" were likely invented by Shakespeare; Suetonius claims Caesar said nothing, while Plutarch suggests he may have said "You too, child?" in Greek. Perhaps most bizarrely, Caesar fell at the base of a statue of Pompey, his former rival and son-in-law, adding a layer of dramatic irony that would have made any playwright weep with envy. This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI.