When Your Loss Doesn't Come with a Casserole

Some losses come with a casserole and a card. Others you carry alone because the world doesn't have a name for them. In this episode, discover what Psalm 34:18 says about which broken hearts God draws close to.Ryan Cole and his wife Kelsi had the nursery ready and the bags packed when they lost their son Whitson at 36 weeks. After he died, the support poured in for Kelsi. Meals arrived and messages filled the mailbox. People sat with her through the worst days. That's what the community of faith does when a mother loses a baby, and the people around them did it well.Nobody called Ryan.He said later that men are the overlooked partners in pregnancy loss. The grief is present, the loss is his, but nobody has built a category for it. The world doesn't have a script for that conversation, so most men carry it in silence. By the time Ryan started talking publicly about what he and Kelsi had been through, they had lost five pregnancies. He co-founded Foreknown Ministries so other fathers wouldn't have to carry what he carried alone.Ryan's story opens an episode about something most of us have experienced but rarely have a name for: the loss that doesn't come with a casserole.Some grief the world knows how to receive. Someone dies after a long illness, the church brings food, the cards arrive. People ask how you're doing for weeks. But there's another category that comes with none of that. The miscarriage early enough that nobody knew you were pregnant. The friendship that ended without explanation and the dream you let go of without telling anyone. The loss is yours, and the world doesn't have a name for it, so you carry it alone.Psalm 34:18 says the LORD is close to the brokenhearted. It leaves the category blank. Your name is already on that list, regardless of whether anyone else knew to bring a casserole.Katharine and I lost a granddaughter at full term. Our daughter and son-in-law named her Hope. I held her lifeless little body, and I wasn't ashamed to cry. That loss didn't fit a neat category either. Grandparents aren't always who people think to call. But the grief was there, and it was ours.Through Ryan's story and Psalm 34:18, this episode stays close to that grief and names it before asking anything of the person carrying it.BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU'LL DISCOVER:Why unrecognized grief tends to go underground when there's no one to bring it to, and what it does when it stays thereWhat Psalm 34:18 says about which kind of broken heart God draws close to, and why the category doesn't matterOne specific thing you can do today with the loss you've been carrying without a nameThe size of your loss is not determined by whether the people around you recognized it. God sees it. And He is close.Share This Episode:https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/237Need Prayer? Leave me a voicemail:https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/voicemailWant to keep these devotions coming? Please consider supporting this podcast.https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/support/Rate and Reviewhttps://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/reviews/new/Connect with BartFacebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/dailydevotionsforbusylivesWebsite: https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.comFeeling spiritually drained? Start here. Download your free copy of my eBook Making Time for Jesus here.Mentioned in this episode:Join Our Private Facebook CommunityIf you're looking for a place to connect with other Daily Devotions listeners and pray for each other, I'd love for you to join our private Facebook community group. Come find us at https://www.dailydevotionsforbusylives.com/group