When Your Prayers Feel Like “Not Enough”: Finding Peace Beyond Scrupulosity (Marriage Unhindered)

Religious anxiety can hide in plain sight, and it often wears a familiar name: scrupulosity. In a conversation on Marriage Unhindered, Doug and Dr. Beth Plachetka describe how it can show up in ordinary devotions like the rosary. For example, a person might feel haunted by the fear that it didn’t “count” because it wasn’t done perfectly, so it has to be repeated again and again. Dr. Plachetka explains that scrupulosity pushes a soul into excess: I prayed, but it wasn’t enough. Underneath that spiral is a deeper wound: forgetting that Jesus’ sacrifice is sufficient, and treating God like a scorekeeper instead of a loving Father. Doug adds an important distinction that scrupulous hearts often miss: temptation is not sin. The sin is in consenting to temptation. A passing thought or impulse can be unsettling, but it is not automatically a moral failure. So what helps? First, naming the anxiety for what it is, something “in excess”, can loosen its grip. Dr. Plachetka even suggests that when someone can gently see the pattern as excessive, it can become easier to resist and, at times, even to laugh at it. Not because suffering is funny, but because fear loses power when we recognize we’re not obligated to obey it. It will take patience to build this new habit of rejecting the scrupulous thoughts, but it's worth the practice. Doug also shares a simple practice that unites faith and the body: On inhale, pray “Jesus,” and on the exhale, “I love you.” It’s a small act of trust that can calm the heart and offer peace. The best way to listen to the Best of the Week is on our #1 Free Catholic App. It’s free, and always will be! To get and share the Relevant Radio app, check it out here.