When Your Relationships Feel Like a One-Way Street, Love Bites with Lifestyle Coach Francesca Luca

Love Bites is a weekly segment on The South Shore’s Morning News with lifestyle coach Francesca Luca. You can listen for advice every Wednesday morning at 9:10. The Francesca Luca Show airs every Wednesday evening between 8 and 9pm.   If you’ve ever felt like you’re giving more than you’re getting, you’re probably not imagining it. So many women feel this way. You give. You care. You keep showing up. But when you look around, it’s like… where is everyone when it’s your turn? Here’s the thing: it’s okay to want what you give. I struggle with this, too. I’ve been told my expectations are too high, that I should grow a thicker skin. Maybe you’ve heard that, too. But let’s drop a Love Bites truth bomb right here: Sometimes, without even realizing it, we train people to rely on us—and they get real comfortable doing just that. You’re the one remembering birthdays. Organizing the dinners. Holding space for everyone’s crisis of the week. And then… when it’s your turn? Crickets. So let’s pause for a second and start noticing the patterns. Before anything can change, you have to see it clearly. Ask yourself: Who checks on me just because they care? Who listens without flipping the conversation back to themselves? Who shows up without needing something in return? Say this to move the relationship forward: “Hey, I’ve been off lately. Can I talk to you about it?” Then, really pay attention to how they respond. Some people will lean in. Others will get uncomfortable or disappear. Good to know. Here’s another game-changer: pause before jumping in. Let’s say someone texts you mid-crisis. Before rushing to save the day, ask: “When I was struggling, were they there for me?” This isn’t about keeping score. It’s about clarity. Because when relationships are always one-way, you end up drained—and eventually, disappointed. Or worse, resentful. Think of it like a tangled necklace. You can’t wear it until you undo the knots. Same goes for your emotional bandwidth. You might be fine for a while, until suddenly you’re in need—and no one’s there. That hurts. And that pain deserves your attention. So here’s your permission slip: Pull back a little. Give less. See what happens. If they notice and ask what’s up? That’s a good sign. If they don’t… again, good to know! Ask your future self: “Is this someone I want in my life long-term?” “If yes—what needs to change so that my needs are also met?” And don’t be afraid of alone time. Sometimes the quiet gives you answers connection never could. I’ll leave you with this: If you’re always the strong one… the supportive one… the available one— It’s time to ask: who supports me? And if the answer feels shaky or silent, maybe the first step is becoming that person for yourself—and choosing relationships that are more mutual, more balanced, and more real. You deserve that kind of love, Babe.