When Your Rifle, Your Side Chicks, and Your Bowels All Betray You

Baby, this week on Idiot of the Week, the competition is so tight you could cut it with the tension between two girlfriends showing up at the same man’s door. And what does our hero do? He steps outside with a rifle, like that was going to turn a love triangle into a teachable moment. Sir, you are not the Bachelor, you are the reason Ring cameras stay employed.Then we slide over to Pasadena, where an officer accidentally shot another officer in a parking garage. A parking garage. The safest thing in a parking garage should be the cops, but apparently not today. We’re over here ducking behind concrete pillars like it’s a live‑action safety training video.Next up, a man gets into a crash and then decides the natural next step is to carjack the woman who stopped to help him. Because nothing says “thank you for your kindness” like “give me your car, ma’am.” We are exhausted.And finally, a shoplifting suspect was caught chugging Dulcolax like it was a sports drink. Baby, when your escape plan includes weaponizing your own digestive system, you have already lost.So who wins the coveted crown? The man with the rifle, the officer with the accidental aim, the crash‑and‑carjack king, or the Dulcolax Daredevil? We don’t know, but we do know this: humanity is out here competing with itself, and the bar is in the basement.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy