When You're the Affair Partner

Throughout her decades as a therapist, Dr. Alexandra has helped many people navigate being "the affair partner." Participating in infidelity creates an intoxicating yet profoundly confusing blend of emotions and experiences. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra examines the psychology of this role and offers a compassionate look into the surrounding context: the thrills, secret benefits, sources of shame, and potential origin stories embedded within this controversial role. Relevant links: "A Great Wagon" by Rumi: https://onbeing.org/poetry/a-great-wagon/ Journal of Sex & Martial Therapy: "Object of Desire Self-Consciousness Theory" by Anthony F. Bogaert and Lori A. Brotto: https://med-fom-brotto.sites.olt.ubc.ca/files/2015/03/Bogaert-Brotto-2014-Object-of-Desire-Self-Conciousness-Theory-3549.pdf "Taking Sexy Back" by Dr. Alexandra Solomon: https://bookshop.org/p/books/taking-sexy-back-how-to-own-your-sexuality-and-create-the-relationships-you-want-alexandra-h-solomon-phd/bb4e09f44fba80a8?ean=9781684033461&next=t& Facebook Group: Esther Perel Discussion Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/793115204193690 Reimagining Love episode: "Guidance for the Newly Single": https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/guidance-for-the-newly-single-5-strategies-for/id1588419386?i=1000637536484 Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/2e7045884bea4a5f?ean=9781683736530&next=t& Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter: https://newsletter.dralexandrasolomon.com/sign-up Submit a Listener Question: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274 Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.