When You're the Affair Partner

Throughout her decades as a therapist, Dr. Alexandra has helped many people navigate being "the affair partner." Participating in infidelity creates an intoxicating yet profoundly confusing blend of emotions and experiences. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra examines the psychology of this role and offers a compassionate look into the surrounding context: the thrills, secret benefits, sources of shame, and potential origin stories embedded within this controversial role.Relevant links:"A Great Wagon" by RumiJournal of Sex & Martial Therapy: "Object of Desire Self-Consciousness Theory" by Anthony F. Bogaert and Lori A. Brotto"Taking Sexy Back" by Dr. Alexandra SolomonFacebook Group: Esther Perel Discussion GroupReimagining Love episode: "Guidance for the Newly Single"Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question Join Esther Perel's annual clinical conference Sessions Live 2026! Learn in person in Brooklyn, New York or virtually on May 15th and 16th. Use code SOLOMON50 for $50 off a virtual ticket or SOLOMON100 for $100 off in-person. Get your tickets at https://sessionslive2026.estherperel.com/Learn more about the Options Transition to Independence Program which offers education, vocational, independent living, and emotional support for young adults with complex learning needs. https://www.experienceoptions.org/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.