EPISODE · Sep 1, 2026 · 56 MIN
Where Have All the Tops Gone? The Truth About Gay Sex’s Biggest “Shortage EP 789
from Talk About Gay Sex TAGSPODCAST · host Stephen V.Rodriguez
In this episode: • Is the “top shortage” supported by real data? • Why are younger gay men more likely to identify as bottoms? • Do some men grow into topping as they gain confidence and experience? • Are there no tops—or simply no tops who meet every requirement? • The erection and performance pressure placed on tops • Why topping a partner can feel easier than topping a stranger • Porn, hookup apps, masculinity, and unrealistic sexual expectations • Can a soft top still deliver a great sexual experience? • Are top, bottom, and vers preferences—or identities? • Why expanding our definition of sex may benefit everyone So, where have all the tops gone? Maybe they haven’t gone anywhere. Maybe they’re nervous, overlooked, aging into the role—or waiting for gay men to stop treating every hookup like an audition. Hot Topic: Grindr is getting more expensive but will it push the 'hot' guys out? Hot Topic: MET cancels honoring John Galliano for May exhibition due to past antisemitic remarks... Hot Topic: Marc Jacobs talks openly about past 10 man orgy where alleged 'drug' use occurred... Hot Topic: Viral post on 'I came out 6 times this week'...Do gay men have to constantly come out? Hot Topic: Of course there was one celebrity, Ricky Schroeder had something to say about Dolly about her support for the Trans community... Follow Steve V's new Substack features weekly articles. 20% Off now through end of August! https://substack.com/@thenakedtruthsteve Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Follow TAGSPODCAST on Instagram and TikTok: @tagspodcast Follow Steve V.: @iam_stevev Watch and subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/TAGSPODCAST Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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What this episode covers
Is the gay community really running out of tops—or have our expectations become so specific that the tops who are available no longer seem to count? In this episode of TAGSPODCAST, Host Steve V and Co-host Kodi Maurice Doggette investigate the supposedly very real “top shortage.” New research suggests younger gay men are far more likely to identify as bottoms, while the percentage of self-identified tops increases among men in their thirties and forties. Does sexual preference naturally evolve as we age, or are younger men simply more comfortable admitting that they enjoy bottoming? The conversation also turns to the pressure placed on tops during hookups. They are expected to get hard immediately, stay hard, take control, perform confidently, last the appropriate amount of time, and somehow satisfy every fantasy presented to them. When nerves, chemistry, condoms, unfamiliar surroundings, or performance anxiety enter the picture, even someone who enjoys topping can suddenly find himself trapped inside his own head. Steve and Kodi discuss why a man may be able to top comfortably with a trusted partner but struggle during a casual encounter, whether connection makes us better lovers, and why losing an erection should not automatically mean that the sex—or the top—has failed. Plus: Are gay men truly looking for tops, or are they searching for a very particular fantasy involving age, masculinity, dominance, body type, penis size, proximity, availability, and the ability to host? Are apps creating a shortage—or merely making our increasingly narrow preferences more visible? The guys also explore how firmly identifying as a top, bottom, or vers can turn a sexual preference into a demanding identity. Perhaps the solution is not producing more tops, but loosening the labels, communicating more honestly, and remembering that penetration is only one part of great gay sex.
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Where Have All the Tops Gone? The Truth About Gay Sex’s Biggest “Shortage EP 789
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