Who Am I? Ex-Christian Has Spiritual Experience, Relives ...

What this episode covers

From before she could remember, Kylie was told exactly who she was & should be. The only problem: It never felt like the truth to her. So Kylie decided to find herself, herself.Carrying a painful secret, she left her home and her faith on a journey to answer one question: Who am I? A question she’d confront head-on during MDMA therapy.Chapters(00:00) Intro clip(02:42) What was it like growing up for you? (05:45) What’s an example of you being taught something that caused you resentment?(11:22) How did you make the decision to break out on your own?(15:06) What was making decisions like out on your own? (20:00) What was your first MDMA experience like?(23:09) How the Tao Te Ching helped Kylie. (25:09) Kylie’s experience with psychedelics before MDMA. (26:28) MDMA comes on. (27:21) “Spiritual” experience with MDMA begins. (30:07) The feeling she’d “always craved.”(36:38) What did you bring up? Kylie’s abortion story. (38:50) What perspective did MDMA give you on your abortion?(41:38) What did you feel when you relived your abortion?(42:43) Kylie’s liminal experience: the voice of her child. (51:00) What did you think of yourself before and after the MDMA experience?(54:01) How did all this feel coming up?(54:35) How did you tell yourself the story of the abortion?(57:54) Kylie lives another life (and dies).Secret Wilderness' theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.

Share this episode

Similar Episodes

Monster Movie Happy Hour, Ep. 169, "Night Fright"

Jun 2, 2026 ·96m

Monster Movie Happy Hour, Ep. 168, The Descent"

May 8, 2026 ·95m

Monster Movie Happy Hour, Ep. 167, "Destroy All Neighbors"

Apr 15, 2026 ·109m

Frater Aleftheria

Apr 6, 2026 ·91m

David Sater : Mythopoetic Alchemy

Apr 5, 2026 ·100m

Monster Movie Happy Hour, Ep. 166, "Forbidden Planet" with Marshall Julius

Mar 25, 2026 ·88m

Similar Podcasts

WTF Conspiracy ? Operation: Disclosure Jolly West Welcome to Conspiracy Theory Or Not?, your deep dive into the world of secrets, shadows, and speculation. This podcast is dedicated to unraveling history's most controversial and mind-bending conspiracy theories, asking tough questions and exploring hidden truths. Whether you're a skeptic or a believer, we take you on a journey through some of the most mysterious events and covert operations ever revealed.In this episode, we explore the dark and mysterious world of MK-Ultra—a top-secret CIA program that ran from the 1950s to the early 1970s. The program's purpose? To develop mind control techniques for use in espionage. But as we will uncover, the methods employed often crossed ethical boundaries, involving everything from drugs to hypnosis and, in many cases, torturous experimentation.We’ll investigate the history and controversial practices behind MK-Ultra, shining a light on its disturbing experiments, key figures, and pivotal events. Drawing from two essential books, "The Sea Explicit YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL PODCAST Erin Loman Jeck and Dr. Sizzle You're Not Special" is the hilarious, no-holds-barred podcast that serves up the juiciest stories from both sides of the kitchen door. Join Erin Loman Jeck, the high-flying CEO with a secret addiction to waiting tables, and the enigmatic Doctor Sizzle, a culinary genius by day and concert going by night, as they dish out the drama that's made to order in the restaurant world.Each episode, we'll dive into the chaotic, dysfunctional family vibe of restaurant life, featuring outrageous customer requests, kitchen disasters turned triumphs, and staff interactions spicier than the daily special.Whether you're a seasoned industry pro or just love a good laugh with your meal, "You're Not Special" offers a balanced perspective on the wild world of restaurants. We'll bring you interviews with chefs, long-time servers, restaurant owners, and even the occasional health inspector for a taste of the unexpected.So pull up a chair and join us at the table where the menu is set, but the drama is mad Explicit Be Marvelus (the mental fitness podcast) Marta Kagan If you’ve ever met someone who is genuinely thriving and wondered, What’s their secret? this is the podcast for you. Each week you'll hear from beautiful, resilient humans who sit down with host (& Marvelus coFounder) Marta Kagan to share the most vulnerable moments of their lives and the choices that helped them become their most Marvelus selves. Packed with inspiring stories, profound insights, and actionable tips, the Be Marvelus Podcast will help you get into the best mental and emotional shape of your life. Explicit Socialite Crime Club Burning Mountain Productions A new take on true crime, former investigators and successful entrepreneurs, energetically discuss their involvement in criminal cases across the country and what it takes to solve complex investigations. Join your hosts, Sy and Keri Ray, as they delight your insatiable desires for scandalous schemes, disgraceful deeds, secret soiree’s and criminal conspiracies. Explicit

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of Secret Wilderness?

This episode is 1 hour and 13 minutes long.

When was this Secret Wilderness episode published?

This episode was published on February 27, 2025.

What is this episode about?

From before she could remember, Kylie was told exactly who she was & should be. The only problem: It never felt like the truth to her. So Kylie decided to find herself, herself.Carrying a painful secret, she left her home and her faith on a journey...

Can I download this Secret Wilderness episode?

Yes, you can download this episode by clicking the download button on the episode player, or subscribe to the podcast in your preferred podcast app for automatic downloads.