Whoever Invented the Terrible Two’s Never Raised a 20‑Something

Parenting toddlers is exhausting—but at least you still get to buckle them into the car seat and choose their pediatrician. Parenting 20-somethings? That’s a whole different nervous system workout.In this episode of Unpack with Dr. Julie!, Dr. Julie Sorenson and co-host Kai Mercer have a real, compassionate, and sometimes hilariously honest conversation about what it means to love your child through their twenties—when you can’t swoop in and fix everything anymore.Drawing from Dr. Julie’s article, “Whoever Invented the Terrible Two’s Clearly Never Raised a 20-Something,” plus current research on emerging adulthood, attachment, and the nervous system, they explore:Why the transition from being your child’s protector to being a witness can feel like grief—even when they’re doing “fine” on paperHow emerging adulthood (18–29) is a normal season of instability, identity exploration, and mistakes that are developmentally necessary—not proof you “failed” as a parentWhat happens in a parent’s body and brain when they watch their 20-something struggle, and why fight/flight/freeze/fawn responses are so commonFive practical self-regulation tools for parents, including the “helicopter view,” the 90-second emotional wave, separating love from control, protecting your peace, and practicing radical acceptanceHow to hold boundaries, hope, and heartbreak at the same time—and stay connected to your adult child without over-functioning for themThis episode is for every parent who’s ever thought, “I taught you better than this,” panicked over a late-night text, or wondered how to care deeply without constantly feeling like you’re on emotional red alert. You are not crazy, you are not alone, and your nervous system deserves support too.