Who’s Driving the Conversation: Is your PAC-Man out of control? | #46

In this Leadership Unscripted episode, Rich and Dave dig into one of the most enduring psychological models for understanding workplace behaviour: Transactional Analysis and its Parent–Adult–Child (PAC) ego states. Using a playful PAC-Man analogy as the gateway into a deeper conversation, they explore how our internal “mini-me’s” influence tone, behaviour, decision-making, feedback conversations, and ultimately the quality of our relationships at work. Drawing on real examples and decades of leadership experience, they unpack: • how our early scripts shape present-day responses • why triggers matter more than we think • how even well-intended habits (like be the rescuer) can quietly undermine autonomy • How emotionally intelligent leaders learn to “press stop” on unhelpful patterns of behaviour and choose intentional, grounded behaviour instead. At the heart of the conversation is the Adult Mindset, the “power pellet” that enables clarity, curiosity, mutual respect and better problem solving. Whether you’re navigating tricky workplace dynamics, giving feedback, or trying to avoid slipping conflict, this episode offers practical, compassionate insight into leading with emotional intelligence.Key Talking Points • The PAC framework explained: Parent, Adult, and Child ego states in everyday leadership • How early-life scripts shape unconsciously triggered responses at work • The difference between nurturing vs controlling parent, and adaptive vs rebellious child • Why negative parent ego states often trigger negative child-like mindsets in others • The cassette-tape metaphor: noticing when your script has started playing • Adult-to-Adult communication as the foundation of emotionally intelligent leadership • Feedback conversations: spotting defensiveness, rescuing, and subtle power dynamics • Decision making, how unconscious ego states limit contribution and stifle challenge • Practical tools for shifting back into the Adult Mindset • Identifying triggers, building reflection practices, and creating shared team language