Why am I asking for your advice when I wouldn’t let you choose my sandwich?

Welcome back to The Dynamics of Everyday Life with Julia! In this episode, I explore why we sometimes hand over important decisions to people whose judgment we wouldn’t even trust to pick our lunch. Through stories of dog-sitting, business frustrations, and family dynamics, I examines what’s going on beneath the surface when we seek outside advice during moments of overwhelm.[00:00:48] – Responsibility & Decision-MakingI discuss making decisions for the dog, connect it to parenting, and segue into feelings of overwhelm in business, particularly with sales and marketing.[00:01:50] – Struggles & Seeking AdviceI recount attending an unhelpful business event and reflect on my hopes for insightful advice versus the reality of generic recommendations.[00:02:26] – Advice & OverwhelmI question why I sought advice from strangers and discuss how easy it is to look for the “right” answer elsewhere when feeling overwhelmed.[00:03:25] – Outsourcing Decision-makingI realise that having a large following isn’t helpful if it isn’t the right audience; discuss how, when flooded by decisions, confidence shrinks and we start to “outsource” thinking.[00:04:21] – The Sandwich Test & RegressionI share my “sandwich test” for whose opinions matter, and talk about regressing into less confident parts of ourselves under stress.[00:04:52] – The Fantasy of the Right AnswerExplain the fantasy that someone else knows better; reference my experience training coaches and how there is no one-size-fits-all answer.[00:05:37] – Psychodynamics: Introjection & TransferenceIntroduce the concepts of introjected authority figures and transference, and how these start early in life and influence current decision-making patterns.[00:06:50] – Real-World ExamplesI give relatable examples of unsolicited advice from networking contacts, family, and friends with questionable expertise.[00:07:53] – Applying the Sandwich TestSuggest the “sandwich test” for business advice, reviewing the intention behind seeking advice, and assessing your “circle of advisors.”Don’t forget to subscribe to The Dynamics of Everyday Life wherever you get your podcasts, and join the growing community of listeners eager to dig into what makes us tick.Feeling overwhelmed? Remember: even Dorothy needed to make the journey to realise she could get herself home. Give yourself some grace and trust your own back catalogue of experience.Connect with Julia:WebsiteLinkedInInstagramABOUT THE PODCASTThe Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.FOLLOW THE PODCASTIf you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.