Why Being Liked Isn't the Same as Being Loved (And How to Stop Confusing Them)

Being liked and being loved are not the same thing, and for years Julie DeLucca-Collins confused the two. In this episode of Brave Moves, Julie unpacks the real root of people-pleasing: not kindness, but fear. Drawing from her own corporate career, where being "the reliable one" quietly became her entire sense of self-worth, Julie breaks down why people-pleasing keeps your goodness trapped outside of you, in the hands of a jury that never stops deliberating.You'll learn the one question that can start untangling people-pleasing patterns in real time, why approval-seeking behavior can never actually deliver the peace it promises, and how to begin separating genuine generosity from fear-based giving. This episode closes with a practical, three-second Brave Move Challenge you can start using today.If you've ever felt exhausted from being "the good one," this episode is your permission slip to stop auditioning for a role you never needed in the first place.Key TakeawaysPeople-pleasing and genuine kindness look identical from the outside but come from opposite places on the inside: fear versus fullness.When your sense of worth depends on other people's approval, you never actually own your own goodness — you rent it, one compliment at a time.Everyone judging your "goodness" is operating from their own history, moods, and bad days — which means their opinion was never a reliable verdict on you.Noticing the pattern in real time is the first step to changing it. You can't shift what you haven't caught.Brave Move ChallengeBefore saying yes to something this week, pause for three seconds and ask: "Am I doing this because I want to, or because I need them to think I'm good?" Just notice the answer. That's the whole assignment.Quotable Moments"Being liked and being loved are not the same thing.""Love gives from fullness. People-pleasing gives from fear.""You've made your worth dependent on a jury that never stops deliberating.""Your goodness was never up for a vote."If you loved this episode, text me and let me know what you though. Support the showJoin the CommunityBrave Moves is a daily confidence and personal growth podcast for ambitious women, women entrepreneurs, and leaders who are ready to overcome self-doubt, build resilience, and take bold action in business and life. Each short, practical episode blends mindset science, decision-making psychology, and real-life stories to help you strengthen your confidence, rewire negative thought patterns, and create meaningful forward momentum.If you are navigating career pivots, burnout, reinvention, or leadership growth, Brave Moves gives you the tools to think differently, act bravely, and design a future aligned with your values and vision. Because confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build, one brave move at a time.Liked this episode? Share it with your midlife woman, entrepreneur friends!Love this show? Let us know how we helped you increase your confidence by leaving a review.For more about me and what I do, check out my website.If you’re looking for support to grow your business faster, be positioned as an authority in your industry, and impact the masses, schedule a call to explore if you’d be a good fit for one of my coaching programs.Fo...