Why Did This Happen to Me? Sexual Abuse Survivor Looks for Meaning with Psychedelic Therapy

In 2022, Susan discovered her husband’s history of infidelity.The betrayal pulled the rug from under her life & uncovered hidden pain from yet another betrayal: The sexual abuse she had suffered as a child at the hands of her grandfather. Susan was overwhelmed — pushing her to attempt suicide. But her husband intercepted her, & begged her to try psychedelic therapy. He felt it was helping him heal from the pain that drove his addictions, & he believed it could help her too. Susan took her husband’s advice. & started working with her husband’s psychedelic guide, Tim. In her first sessions, Susan faced the pain of her tortured past for the first time, &, she believes, began to heal as well. She continued her trauma work in the sessions that followed. They returned again & again to address specific traumatic events. Most substances she found helpful. She used a combination of MDMA and psychedelic mushrooms — as well as Ketamine by itself — throughout her treatment. But not all substances. Her experience with Iboga, source of the psychedelic Ibogain, left her frustrated. Even so, she felt progress. Over time, she peeled back the layers of betrayal & faced new questions: Like, was there a reason this all happened to her? Chapters(00:00) Intro clip(03:28) Susan recounts the boat memory.(07:20) Susan recounts the hallway memory.(09:25) Was this betrayal worse because you thought you were safe?(11:07) Susan sees life from the perspectives of everyone who hurt her.(17:07) Did your guide see things from an reincarnation perspective?(17:36) Susan discovers her “soul contract.” (20:03) Susan reads her “soul contract” session transcript. (26:06) What was the experience of finding your soul contract like?(31:25) What was the day-to-day work of getting better like?(33:56) What’s your focus now?(36:53) How were you able to make so much progress so fast?Secret Wilderness' theme song is “Winter Solstice” by Löwenzahnhonig. Released by Inselgruppe, published by A Tree in a Field.