Why do I fancy someone else when I have a loving partner?

In today’s episode, I introduce a new series called The Ache - a space where we explore the truths most women hide behind polished exteriors: the shame, the longing, the patterns that feel impossible to break. Our first submission speaks to a common but rarely admitted experience: “I love my fiancé, but every time I see this other guy, I forget my values. I feel lit up, obsessed, pulled toward him… and then ashamed. I don’t want to sabotage what I have, but I can’t seem to stop.” In this episode, we unravel what’s really happening beneath behaviour that looks “wrong” on the surface but makes perfect sense somatically. We explore why your system might feel more alive with the wrong person than with the right one, why stability can feel threatening if you grew up around unpredictable love, and why your body might confuse familiar activation with attraction. This conversation goes into the deeper layers - the younger parts who still expect love to come with anxiety, the self-protective patterns that show up as sabotage, and the real question underneath cheating: Who do you get to be with this other man that you don’t feel allowed to be in your relationship? This episode isn’t about justifying behaviour - it’s about understanding it. Because you can’t change a pattern you’re still shaming yourself for. If you want your own Ache explored in a future episode, you can submit anonymously through the link in the show notes.→ Come say hi on Instagram: @lucy__maeve→ Submit your ache here